Bawk bawk bawk bawk....

Public Notice: If you love me, you will buy these for me.

Lots of people were talking yesterday and today about the possibility of more protests and upheaval today because of continuing developments with the Freddie Gray case.  The corporate communications at my company sent a blast e-mail to all Maryland associates, so now people who don't even work at the Baltimore office are in a tizzy.  It's so silly.

Jennifer 3:56 PM:

sooo... we are scared to come downtown tomorrow

lol

Veronica 3:57 PM:

ohhhh

Jennifer 3:57 PM:

haha

Veronica 3:57 PM:

....bawk bawk bawk bawk

Jennifer 3:57 PM:

But seriously... do you think it would be better if everyone came to Owings Mills?

My boss wanted me to check with you before we came down

Veronica 3:58 PM:

LOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk

Jennifer 3:58 PM:

My boss knows you control everyone's calendars.

I mean, I will run people over in traffic, if necessary :)

 Veronica 3:59 PM:

I am checking with my main dude

Jennifer 3:59 PM:

Ok thanks

Veronica 4:04 PM:

Okay, I'm back.  He also called you poultry.

To be fair, he didn't literally call her poultry... I was summerizing.  That's my job, after all.  I believe his actual words were, "What? I don't have time for this in my life..." which made me very happy...  The complete brush-off. I love my guys. 

Speaking of work conversations, there are a couple I have been saving for you.

There is a new subscriber to my blog who, bless him, e-mails me almost every day if I don't blog.  Some days he is more violent in his notes to me than others, from a gentle "Good morning, Ms. NonBlogger" to this:

Neil 1:52 PM:

So is it safe to say you've quit blogging?

No "Good morning" or anything.

It's funny when people try to force a blog entry upon me. It usually doesn't end well (for them.)

Neil 4:00 PM:

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the Republican debacle last week.

*debate

Meh...whatever.

Veronica 4:01 PM:

This is exactly how I feel about it:  

Neil 4:03 PM:

LOL

LOLOL

I'm crying!

 Veronica 4:03 PM:

:-)

And let us not forget The Temp, who is like my kid brother, hates that I call him "The Temp," and who thinks that I am Mallory from the show "Archer."  

He's not wrong.  See previous posts. 

Veronica [9:37 AM]:

Hello The Temp.

The Temp [9:37 AM]:

Hello Veronica

 Veronica [9:37 AM]:

I just had to throw a Mallory face at someone, and it made me think of you.

That is all.

Temp [9:39 AM]:

had to throw a Mallory at someone?

You are always Mallory

Meaning you are always throwing Mallorys at people

In every conversation

that you ever have

Veronica [9:40 AM]:

Hearing you say that brings peace to the spot where a human heart should be.

And finally, let's talk about how to deal with stress, okay?  This can apply to anything in your life.

Gym Rat 8:37 AM:

Btw, working on the governance report right now- got some slides yesterday so hope to have Prism updated today

Veronica 8:37 AM:

Ok.

G.R. 8:37 AM:

Do you have a date that you want it by so you can get it to print on time?

 Veronica 8:39 AM:

Not yet

I'm not a goal oriented person like you!

G.R. 8:39 AM:

lol

I wanted to stay home today so badly

Veronica 8:40 AM:

Because you were scared?

Of coming to work

because there's work there

and then you'd have to do it

G.R. 8:40 AM:

basically lol

Veronica 8:40 AM:

I go through that every day

G.R. 8:40 AM:

What do you do to motivate yourself?

Veronica 8:41 AM:

I'm amazing at breaking things down into bite-sized pieces, which is basically the opposite of being goal oriented.

Goal oriented - everything you are doing, you are working TOWARDS something... there is an achievable goal.

There is a thing that becomes complete. Boxes are checked.  You go to bed at night counting things you've accomplished.

I do not do that.

I break things down into one million tiny successes.

I'll be like omg I do not want to go to work today.

If i have to go to work, I have to do things.

I wont even eat lunch today, I know it.

People are going to talk to me,

and expect things of me.

Well, whatever; that's their problem.  For right now, I am going to work on looking amazing.

And then I am going to shut down the house.  Okay that's good.  My house is amazing.  Are the cats ok?  Oh yeah there they are.  They are good.  MAMA IS GOING TO GO MAKE MONEY SO THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE LIVING HERE

They don't care.

Well whatever. Ok here I go.  I'm in my car.

My car is cute.  I love my car

Dude, I am such an adult.

There are people without a car.

They take the bus.

I am too pretty for public transportation.

Well let's see what the road is doing.

Veronica 8:45 AM:

And see... just like that... you are not even thinking about work any more

G.R. 8:45 AM:

I need to subscribe to your thought train

I feel as though this is blog worthy

I hope you're copy pasting this

Officer Veronica, Pandora AGAIN, Tinder Part Two, Steak

I have "cop" written all over me

When we were in Washington, and whenever I travel, and when in public, and in general, my inner cop comes out, and I end up doing things like checking under beds, in closets, and behind shower curtains before allowing anyone to getting comfortable.  Kate always says, "I don't like that."  This is one of many very quirky things about me, and I apologize. 

Pandora

I changed my Pandora settings, because, quite frankly, I couldn’t take it anymore.  Literally every single commercial was about “Are you worried about fertility?  Is your career and other life circumstances delaying starting a family?  Look into egg freezing!  Prime candidates are those in their early to mid-thirties, when fertility is at its highest.  Now is the time to register for the 2014 egg freezing convention in Washington D.C..”  So now I changed it to birth year 1960, and it is advertising greek yogurt and office depot.  Enough is enough.  Whatever will be will be.  I don’t need Pandora pressuring me to start a family.

Tinder, Part Two

I went to dinner with Daniela the other night, and we had a couple of glasses of vodka, and then I handed over my cell phone so she could play with Tinder.  She thought it was the most fun game.  She was on there for a good 20 minutes, yelling at the phone.  “EW NO.  That is a purebred.  HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF RESCUING FROM THE SHELTER??  EW.  GOODBYE.”  And then she forbade anyone with a purebred, and all gingers (I had to correct the second part for her,) and a host of other rules, and she might have talked to someone.  I’m scared to open the ap.  I don't know what she's done.

Here are a few good ones I’ve been collecting as I go:

 FIRST AND FOREMOST: 

Yup, that's right.  Sterling Archer is on Tinder near me.

It's the best profile on the entire Tinder, and I want to date whoever is behind it immediately.

Next up:

A lot of people put stacks of money as their photo.  Or their Audis. Or whatever.

Anyway, basically 95% of Tinder is a big Nope.

I run across of ...let's just go ahead and be polite ... clearly metrosexual gentlemen.  

I mean, what are you doing?

And.. wait... this is.. this has to be a woman...

Okay and.... Ready??  This:

Okay so.... 

Steak

The Temp here at work is VERY JUDGE-Y of people (I'm hoping he'll read this.  He also loves when I refer to him as The Temp.) 

Temp: "Veronica, if someone took you out to a lunch interview, and ordered at $20 steak, what would your reaction be?  What would you think of that person?”

Veronica (not missing a beat):  “I would order one too.  No wait, I would order a $26 dollar steak.”

Right?  What would you do/think?

Also, this morning, The Temp started choking on something, and I tried to not show that I was laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing.  Then I turned around, and he was just staring at me, whilst choking.  LOL.  Even now, I can't stop laughing.  He said I am the absolute worst.  He's right.  

2:31 PM  Veronica

Did you need me?  I can never tell when you are trying to get my attention

2:32 PM Temp

Good

then I have succeeded

Apparently choking to death isn't one of the ways to get it

2:32 PM Veronica

def not

it is a way to cheer me up, tho.

He's the best. 

Update:  As the temp read this, he yelled, "I AM VERY JUDGE-Y OF PEOPLE?!??!?!!!!!  ARE YOU SERIOUS???"  And I chuckled and said that was exactly how I planned that moment to go.  Then he said I was the worst, and I said I know.  Then he read the rest of it and said again, "You are the very worst."  And I said I know.  Then he said, "Everything about this moment went exactly how you thought it would, didn't it?  I reacted exactly as you thought I would?  You must be very proud of yourself."  Yes I am.

Okay, that's all for now.