Summer has Sprung! Cat Pants, Yanni, Lifeproof, Drugs

Hey!  Long time no see.

How 'bout this weather? 

This photo was taken 5 days ago, and here is a photo from yesterday.

Amirite?

~~~

Are you ready to play a round of "Cat or Pants"?

I have a cat that is all black.  Smidgen is precious and perfect and angelic preciousness angel, and very cuddly.  

However, sometimes I don't have my glasses on and can't tell one dark shape from another.  Some mornings I will wake up and stumble around for a minute and then go to cuddle the preciousness, and then I, being blind as a bat, end up trying to snuggle pants.  

Or, sometimes when I am not wearing my glasses and trying to throw in a load of laundry before bed, I'll go to grab pants off the floor, and it is cat (surprising the heck out of both of us.)  

I'm going to be honest here... it happens more often than I care to admit that I kick pants out of the way, except it turns out to be cat, or I will go to gently and lovingly pet my pants. 

Okay, so let's play Cat or Pants.

Step 1:  Take out your contacts or glasses, and be blind as a bat

Step 2:  Be very groggy

Sometimes it's tricky.  Right?

Well, I feel better having admitted this.

Yannster

Good news!  There is Yanni activity coming up.  Of course, you already know this, considering that you follow my Yanni Facebook account, and if you don't please look up "Veronica NorthEast" please and thank you.

Yanni has been doing a tour in just a few cities of "Coversations With Yanni" which is basically a Q&A session with audiences, mixed in with him playing his grand piano. 

What questions should I ask Yanni??!?!??!??!!!  

More good news: I had to get a new phone case, which means I had to get a new Popsocket, so... behold my new fantastic custom-made Popsocket!!

I love it not just because I get to stare at Yanni all day every day, but also because it is a conversation starter and I get to spread the Gospel of Yanni.

It's just as good as my other talisman- my giant Celine Dion mug, which I'm quite known for at work.  My colleague said that she loves it, because it is "just so.... unapologetic."  Yeah, that about sums it alllllll up.

While we are talking about cell phone cases, I need to just do a quick advertisement for Lifeproof cases. Girl, do you know about Lifeproof phone cases?  You are probably reasonably responsible with your phones, but, of course, I am extremely clumsy and drop almost everything and stuff.  

So, I got this Lifeproof case when I first got my phone last year, and I tell you what, it is amazing.  They are pricey, I think I paid $80 for mine.  I know.  It’s bad.  But, an insurance claim on a new phone is $100, so….  

So, shortly after I got my Lifeproof case, I’d say like 4 months later, I noticed that the little rubber thing for the phone jack was coming loose.  This was upsetting because once the case is on your phone, your phone is literally Life-proof, but if there is a leak or a crack, it is no longer life-proof.  I called the company about the little rubber phone jack thing coming off, and they immediately sent me a new one.

It is water proof, dust proof, everything proof.  I have been swimming with my phone, a lot, and taken video. Like this gem, taken whilst playing a game we call "Tsunami": 

I recently had another episode with a crack in my phone case (I probably ran it over with my car or something.)  I called LifeProof and asked if possibly my warranty was still good, and they said, “OMG - totally.  Don’t worry about it.”  They sent me a brand new one, and have been amazing with customer support any time I had an issue.

I love them.  So.  Hard.  Like, I really beat the heck out of my cases… so the fact that a case lasts even a month is a big deal.  This sucker lasted almost a year.

They are Colorado based and totally chill.  The girl I just recently spoke with… her name was Harmony.  Yup.  

One last thought that I just need to put out there...  

I want to just ask that everyone keep your eyes open to, or at the very least, say a prayer or keep in  your thoughts your local community's health.  I am lucky enough to be protected (at least, as far as I know) from the horrible cancer of drugs that is just running rampant in our greater DC/Baltimore area.  I am not blind to it, as I have been interacting more and more with people who are directly effected by it.  The more I talk to people at church, the more I am becoming aware of how close it is to all of us, and we don't even realize it.  

I will sometimes be talking to someone who seems just like me, only to then be talking with them about how their daughter/son/sister/brother/etc. is currently an addict and losing their battle. 

This fire department keeps track of overdoses and deaths from heroin in Anne Arundel County alone.
This sign, as of a couple of days ago, reads "82 overdoses, 5 lives lost" year to date.  
It is only the middle of February.

If you are not directly effected, I just ask that you soften your heart when you go out and interact with other humans day to day - as you never know the struggle of your fellow human.  

Okay, that is all I have for now!  Hope you are well and enjoying life. 

Bawk bawk bawk bawk....

Public Notice: If you love me, you will buy these for me.

Lots of people were talking yesterday and today about the possibility of more protests and upheaval today because of continuing developments with the Freddie Gray case.  The corporate communications at my company sent a blast e-mail to all Maryland associates, so now people who don't even work at the Baltimore office are in a tizzy.  It's so silly.

Jennifer 3:56 PM:

sooo... we are scared to come downtown tomorrow

lol

Veronica 3:57 PM:

ohhhh

Jennifer 3:57 PM:

haha

Veronica 3:57 PM:

....bawk bawk bawk bawk

Jennifer 3:57 PM:

But seriously... do you think it would be better if everyone came to Owings Mills?

My boss wanted me to check with you before we came down

Veronica 3:58 PM:

LOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk

Jennifer 3:58 PM:

My boss knows you control everyone's calendars.

I mean, I will run people over in traffic, if necessary :)

 Veronica 3:59 PM:

I am checking with my main dude

Jennifer 3:59 PM:

Ok thanks

Veronica 4:04 PM:

Okay, I'm back.  He also called you poultry.

To be fair, he didn't literally call her poultry... I was summerizing.  That's my job, after all.  I believe his actual words were, "What? I don't have time for this in my life..." which made me very happy...  The complete brush-off. I love my guys. 

Speaking of work conversations, there are a couple I have been saving for you.

There is a new subscriber to my blog who, bless him, e-mails me almost every day if I don't blog.  Some days he is more violent in his notes to me than others, from a gentle "Good morning, Ms. NonBlogger" to this:

Neil 1:52 PM:

So is it safe to say you've quit blogging?

No "Good morning" or anything.

It's funny when people try to force a blog entry upon me. It usually doesn't end well (for them.)

Neil 4:00 PM:

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the Republican debacle last week.

*debate

Meh...whatever.

Veronica 4:01 PM:

This is exactly how I feel about it:  

Neil 4:03 PM:

LOL

LOLOL

I'm crying!

 Veronica 4:03 PM:

:-)

And let us not forget The Temp, who is like my kid brother, hates that I call him "The Temp," and who thinks that I am Mallory from the show "Archer."  

He's not wrong.  See previous posts. 

Veronica [9:37 AM]:

Hello The Temp.

The Temp [9:37 AM]:

Hello Veronica

 Veronica [9:37 AM]:

I just had to throw a Mallory face at someone, and it made me think of you.

That is all.

Temp [9:39 AM]:

had to throw a Mallory at someone?

You are always Mallory

Meaning you are always throwing Mallorys at people

In every conversation

that you ever have

Veronica [9:40 AM]:

Hearing you say that brings peace to the spot where a human heart should be.

And finally, let's talk about how to deal with stress, okay?  This can apply to anything in your life.

Gym Rat 8:37 AM:

Btw, working on the governance report right now- got some slides yesterday so hope to have Prism updated today

Veronica 8:37 AM:

Ok.

G.R. 8:37 AM:

Do you have a date that you want it by so you can get it to print on time?

 Veronica 8:39 AM:

Not yet

I'm not a goal oriented person like you!

G.R. 8:39 AM:

lol

I wanted to stay home today so badly

Veronica 8:40 AM:

Because you were scared?

Of coming to work

because there's work there

and then you'd have to do it

G.R. 8:40 AM:

basically lol

Veronica 8:40 AM:

I go through that every day

G.R. 8:40 AM:

What do you do to motivate yourself?

Veronica 8:41 AM:

I'm amazing at breaking things down into bite-sized pieces, which is basically the opposite of being goal oriented.

Goal oriented - everything you are doing, you are working TOWARDS something... there is an achievable goal.

There is a thing that becomes complete. Boxes are checked.  You go to bed at night counting things you've accomplished.

I do not do that.

I break things down into one million tiny successes.

I'll be like omg I do not want to go to work today.

If i have to go to work, I have to do things.

I wont even eat lunch today, I know it.

People are going to talk to me,

and expect things of me.

Well, whatever; that's their problem.  For right now, I am going to work on looking amazing.

And then I am going to shut down the house.  Okay that's good.  My house is amazing.  Are the cats ok?  Oh yeah there they are.  They are good.  MAMA IS GOING TO GO MAKE MONEY SO THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE LIVING HERE

They don't care.

Well whatever. Ok here I go.  I'm in my car.

My car is cute.  I love my car

Dude, I am such an adult.

There are people without a car.

They take the bus.

I am too pretty for public transportation.

Well let's see what the road is doing.

Veronica 8:45 AM:

And see... just like that... you are not even thinking about work any more

G.R. 8:45 AM:

I need to subscribe to your thought train

I feel as though this is blog worthy

I hope you're copy pasting this

From A Distance

I fear that as I've aged, I have displayed symptoms of emotional/psychological Benjamin Button syndrome.

I feel like it's normal for people to feel passion in their youth, and have vigor and love and all ranges of emotions.  Then, as people gain those life experiences and tuck time and wisdom under their belts, they become more internal and, for lack of a better word, calm.  Bitterness, callous, and actively using phrases like "kids these days" come into play mid-to late life.  Right?

I feel that in many facets of my life, I am on an accelerated path to callous.

I know that it is going to seem like I am just flying off the handle in this blog, and am just being inordinately emotional for a few minutes, but the truth is that I have been giving this very focused thought over the past few weeks. 

Patience

I don't remember having patience issues when I was younger, at least not in the way that I do now.  In some ways I am still the most patient person, (often to a fault) in giving people many "second chances," and trying to understand misunderstood people.

Sometimes, I get so impatient and busy in my work day, that I feel flustered at the simple things that slow me down and suck time at work, and I get mad things that take time such as stirring my tea.   That's the most ridiculous thing, isn't it?   Stirring my tea.  It takes about 15 seconds of focus.  

But I find myself saying out loud, "Stir your tea, Veronica."

I have to say this to myself so often, that I have found myself saying it all day long for any sort of task.  

• When the elevator is stopping at EVERY FLOOR: "Stir your tea, Veronica."  
• When someone is making small talk (and we all know how much I love small talk) : "Stir your tea, Veronica."
• When I get frustrated at having to take time to clean the cat box, mow the grass, eat food: "Stir your tea, Veronica."

It's a reminder to slow down and accept the moment as a necessary moment of life. A reminder that there are those who were not granted the gift of waking up this morning, and also that there are generations of people, my father & grandfather included, who fought in wars and made sacrifices so that I have the privilege of stirring my fancy tea whilst sitting at my air conditioned desk in a beautiful city and having the freedom to do whatever I choose to do in that moment: I could choose to chuck my Celine Dion mug of tea out into the middle of Pratt Street, or I could run up around the inner harbor in my underwear, or I could stand on my head at my desk, or I could sit there and stir my tea.  There is so much freedom, and I have to choose wisely.  So I need to choose to savor every minute, including those spent on stirring tea.

Race

This next part is not about race, but people are going to think that it is.  It's not about race.  It's about heartbreak.

I find myself losing my patience with the national news.  I can't tell if I am becoming over calloused, or if I am actually just masking a whole sea of hurt which I don't know how to deal with.  

I've been trying to not talk about this for months.  I've already calculated that you will probably not want to be my friend anymore after this post.

But, after this Charleston shooting event, I've just had enough of pretending that it all means nothing to me.  

I get so angry because I am not allowed to talk about anything openly; I have to be over careful and censor my natural reactions because I am a young Aryan female who is an independent homeowner who lives in the suburbs with a small and clean life and supports herself.  I have clawed my way through life and fought and fought to be successful, and never gave up, and refused to accept homelessness and unemployment and apathy. But that does not matter.  I am Aryan and that is what people know about me at first glance. 

I am a third generation American of Lithuanian descent.  This renders me voiceless on events which have a possible facet of racism, unless what is voiced is within the socially acceptable constraints of what the biggest critic would want to hear.  Anything heard from me will be observed with race-filtered glasses. 

I moved around a lot as a kid, (something like 20 times by the time I was 19) and whether that has served more harm than good is yet to be seen, but it did ensure that I was a cultural enigma of sorts.  I never got used to one type of person, or one class, or one race, or one religion. I never had one best friend, and to this day, I still don't.  I am a big cauldron of lots of histories and people and groups and beliefs.  I have lots of different kinds of friends, and they each know something a little different about me and my  history, but put them all in the same room, and you have a pretty interesting, faceted gem.  (Also, I do not want to be in the room when that happens.  It would be too much for me to handle.)  Separate, no one knows the entire me, but they all together equal one me.  This is probably not uncommon; I am sure that many of you feel the same way about yourselves.

There are a few characteristics about me which are unwavering and true, and one of these traits is my justness.  I'm always weighing facts, whether good or bad, and trying to see different viewpoints - one of my strongest strengths is objectivity.  I won't jump right into assuming a know the story until I know the whole story - You don't know what you don't know.

Freddie Gray

I don't know what happened to Freddie Gray.  I know what you know - and that is nothing.  We are not in the courtroom being presented all evidence from all sides of the case.  We are people tuned in and dependant on a media industry whose main currency is popularity.  I have no opinion on the matter, because I don't know the facts.  Maybe it was about race.  Maybe he was a serial criminal known for selling drugs in that particular ally and was trying to outrun the cops.  Maybe he was on every drug known to man and had no conscious control over his body.  Maybe it was none of those things.  

We actually know nothing, and I don't assume to.  What I do know is that Channel 2 and Channel 4 and Channel 9 and Channel 11 and abc2news.com and Facebook and Twitter are in a popularity contest and will feed you whatever will make you pay attention to them.  Hopefully, this will then evoke a strong enough emotion from you that you will then give them more things to report about.  Supply and demand and supply and demand and supply.

Clearly, there is a bigger issue which was highlighted because of the rioting.  I'm not really supposed to say things that I want to say, like, "Okay, so folks in north Baltimore are feeling an injustice.  What is their proposed solution?" even though I am actually interested in helping; even though I would actually be such a strong advocate for change, if there was a clear cause.  And yes, there are a few folks who have focused and targeted action plans - and good on them.  But is this the "average rioter"?  Nope.  

Channel-whatever-I-was-watching was interviewing people they walked by on the streets during the riots, saying, "What is the change that you want?" And person after person had no real answer.  One person just said, "We are rioting for Freddie Gray.  We want those police officers to spend life in jail."  The newscaster would press on, "Okay... but you don't even know the facts of the case yet."   The person responded, "Doesn't matter; enough is enough - we're sick of it all." The newscaster said, "Okay, but what is the change that you want?"  And the person said, "We want those police officers to be put in jail."

This is not a solution.  

The easiest thing in the world is to sit around and complain about the world.  This does not bring change.  This just brings hate and bitterness.  Thinking of actual feasible solutions is what it takes.  Not just, "Well, what they need to do is... :: insert generality here ::." 

Listen, there is no "they."  There is YOU.  If YOU want change, then you need to listen to Michael Jackson and start with the man in the mirror.  If most of the rioters had actual focused plans of actions, I would regard their efforts with the same profound respect of the great Martin Luther King, Jr. (who, btw, would have been horrified by the Baltimore riots.)  Alas, all I actually heard and saw was noise and destruction.  Noise.  Noise.

However, if I ever even considered showing my blond-hair-blue-eyed self amongst the demonstrations (or even peaceful protests) and mentioned any of the above, or asked what their solution was, I would have been completely disregarded because of my race, and no doubt anything above would have been tuned out.  When, at the very heart of me, I actually, honest and truly, am on the side of justice and fairness.  The fact that it doesn't matter what I actually think or say is like putting wet blankets on flames. Even if I had a fiery passion, it is quashed.  To be fair to myself, I don't even entertain the idea of discovering how I actually might feel.  I know that it doesn't matter what I say or do, because of my skin color.  And that, my friends, is the very essence of racism.

This is part of the reason I am on an accelerated path to callous.

Charleston

When your city burning, it's hard to feel shock for someone else who has experienced a flame.

There have been 139 homicides in Baltimore so far in 2015. The month following the riots gave Baltimore the deadliest month it has had in the past 40 years.  Why?  

I don't know; I don't have all of the facts... but what I can speculate is that I don't blame police for not wanting to do a darn thing.  Can you imagine every single minute of your job being video recorded, criticism with serious repercussions being a part of every minute of your duties?  I don't know what I don't know, but what I do know is that my car was broken into and the window was smashed out, and I waited for 3 hours for the police, and no one ever showed up, and I was not even that upset.  I get it.  Maybe I shouldn't (refer to earlier mention of being the most patient person, (often to a fault) in giving people many "second chances," and trying to understand misunderstood people.)  Maybe I should be mad that the police are not doing enough, but I'm not.  I get the apathy.

To prevent feeling feelings, I just tune it out. Is that a healthy solution?  Nope. 

Also, the system does not work.  I hear the news every morning, the numbers rolling in.  I tell myself to stir my tea and to not get upset about it.  

Then the Charleston church shootings happened.  It is a tragedy.  A disgusting, despicable tragedy.  For such an infiltration of hate and vile cruelty to take place in a place of holiness, sanctity, worship, and community sickens every good person.  It is hell on earth.  Lives were stolen, with those families left behind being changed forever.  People's mothers, sisters, cousins, brothers, children were stolen, for absolutely no reason at all.

I try to remain calm and remind myself to stir my tea over this, but my mind can't stop going to numbers.  Nine.  Nine people.  Literally 15 times as many people have had the same fate in MY city in the past six months.  Where is the outrage?  Where is the heartbreak?  

Even in my corporate environment, after the shootings at Charleston, moments of silence and respect were being taken in large meetings.  I had to sit there and remind myself to stir my tea when this happened, because what I really wanted to do was stand  up and shout about the one hundred and thirty nine souls who were taken from within our own 10 mile radius.

What I really wanted to do was stand on my chair and take a moment of mourning for 16 year old Arnesha Bowers, who on June 6th was viciously raped and murdered when she walked into her home (which she shared with her grandmother) to find that three men were robbing the place. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time, just going home after school or whatever, and was tortured before the sweet relief of death (by strangulation). 

According to WJZ:

New court documents show Bowers was strangled and her genitals were burned in an apparent effort to destroy evidence that she had also been sexually assaulted. Rivers later admitted to police he called Bowers multiple times before she died and even used her cell phone after the murder to send a text to her friend to throw off police.

Then, after they murdered her, they set the house on fire to try to destroy evidence.  They arrested one 14-year old Tree Top Piru Bloods gang member in connection with this crime.  

This is ONE of the stories of the one-hundred-and-thirty-nine similar tales of only the year 2015.

Did you even know about Arnesha Bowers?  No?  Oh. Okay.

So it's those moments of silence in meetings where I have to tell myself to stir my tea and just appreciate the moment, and pay respect to the people of Charleston, as requested.

PRIDE

Recently, my company started a PRIDE community.  I could not be happier about this - I am honored and proud of my company for supporting their LGBT and Ally employees.  I have many friends who are gay, and I will fiercely support any of their needs socially, professionally or otherwise.  I think one of the reasons I love being part of PRIDE so much is because it is one place where I have a voice.  I can make an impact.  The LGBT community is colorblind - honestly I have never seen or heard of any racism within the community; it simply is not on the radar.  The community is about loving your neighbor and fairness and equality.  I love that.  

So that's the main reason for my heart of steel.

I have become a pro at feeling nothing.  Hopefully it stays well contained, because sizzling hot coals under these wet towels I toss have the capacity to become a major inferno.  

I should feel passion.  I know it's there - I should be in the numbers with these people: 

Alas. I do not feel it.  I feel like I skipped this phase of my life.

I try to make sense of it all.  Actually, I don't.  I just dull the nerves and try to feel nothing about it.  But sometimes, very rarely, I will see in a person that they, too, know exactly what I am feeling - they have felt it before.  All of this is not something that people talk about with each other.

So, I summon the power of Bette, who I know is one of these people who knows what I am about.  I know that she, and people like her, have seen things that you and I will never know about unless we travel the world on a daily basis like she does.  So I want, I want to believe her when she puts out songs about seeing the world as one, From A Distance.  She has seen darkness, and she wants to believe in One.  These are people I look up to.

From a distance we are instruments

Marching in a common band

Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace

They're the songs of every man

If Bette is trying to believe it, then so will I.

I will just continue to remind myself to stir my tea and watch things From A Distance.