I have "cop" written all over me
When we were in Washington, and whenever I travel, and when in public, and in general, my inner cop comes out, and I end up doing things like checking under beds, in closets, and behind shower curtains before allowing anyone to getting comfortable. Kate always says, "I don't like that." This is one of many very quirky things about me, and I apologize.
Pandora
I changed my Pandora settings, because, quite frankly, I
couldn’t take it anymore. Literally
every single commercial was about “Are you worried about fertility? Is your career and other life circumstances
delaying starting a family? Look into
egg freezing! Prime candidates are those in
their early to mid-thirties, when fertility is at its highest. Now is the time to register for the 2014 egg
freezing convention in Washington D.C..” So now I changed it to birth year 1960, and it
is advertising greek yogurt and office depot.
Enough is enough. Whatever will be
will be. I don’t need Pandora pressuring
me to start a family.
Tinder, Part Two
I went to dinner with Daniela the other night, and we had a
couple of glasses of vodka, and then I handed over my cell phone so she could
play with Tinder. She thought it was the
most fun game. She was on there for a
good 20 minutes, yelling at the phone. “EW NO. That is a purebred. HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD OF RESCUING FROM THE SHELTER?? EW.
GOODBYE.” And then she forbade
anyone with a purebred, and all gingers (I had to correct the second part for
her,) and a host of other rules, and she might have talked to someone. I’m scared to open the ap. I don't know what she's done.
Here are a few good ones I’ve been collecting as I go:
FIRST AND FOREMOST:
Yup, that's right. Sterling Archer is on Tinder near me.
It's the best profile on the entire Tinder, and I want to date whoever is behind it immediately.
Next up:
A lot of people put stacks of money as their photo. Or their Audis. Or whatever.
Anyway, basically 95% of Tinder is a big Nope.
I run across of ...let's just go ahead and be polite ... clearly metrosexual gentlemen.
I mean, what are you doing?
And.. wait... this is.. this has to be a woman...
Okay and.... Ready?? This:
Okay so....
Steak
The Temp here at work is VERY JUDGE-Y of people (I'm hoping he'll read this. He also loves when I refer to him as The Temp.)
Temp: "Veronica, if someone took you out to a lunch interview, and
ordered at $20 steak, what would your reaction be? What would you think
of that person?”
Veronica (not missing a beat): “I would order one too. No wait, I would order a $26 dollar steak.”
Right? What would you do/think?
Also, this morning, The Temp started choking on something, and I tried to not show that I was laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing. Then I turned around, and he was just staring at me, whilst choking. LOL. Even now, I can't stop laughing. He said I am the absolute worst. He's right.
Did you need me? I can never tell when you are trying to get my
attention
Good
then
I have succeeded
Apparently
choking to death isn't one of the ways to get it
def
not
it
is a way to cheer me up, tho.
He's the best.
Update: As the temp read this, he yelled, "I AM VERY JUDGE-Y OF PEOPLE?!??!?!!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS???" And I chuckled and said that was exactly how I planned that moment to go. Then he said I was the worst, and I said I know. Then he read the rest of it and said again, "You are the very worst." And I said I know. Then he said, "Everything about this moment went exactly how you thought it would, didn't it? I reacted exactly as you thought I would? You must be very proud of yourself." Yes I am.
Okay, that's all for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment