Heart of Steel
Over the weekend, there was an indoor archery shoot at
Mayberry, up in Westminster. It was a
pretty cold morning, and the furnace at their range was broken. I am usually a very warm person. I rarely get cold; I’m kind of a walking
furnace.
So people at the shoot were
using me USING ME! for warmth, putting their cold hands (and noses) all over me
to warm up. They were saying, “Wow, it’s
incredible! You’re so warm!”
Sue then said, “Well, you know what they say… [[ pregnant pause]] ‘Warm hands, cold heart’.“
One lady thought for a second, and then started saying, “No, I don’t
think that is right, I think it’s… the opposite.. right?” And Sue and I both laughed and said, “No no,
that’s the case. It’s accurate.”
Heart of Steel, NBD.
Full House
I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing lately. I’ve been having some medical issues, (which
I will talk about later, if you insist) so I have not even been wearing my
Fitbit most days!
Therefore, I’ve been
doing a lot of going home after work and staying home. Of course, then I do other things, like paint
my bathroom, but still, I’ve been doing a lot of staying home. This has led me to watching a lot of Full
House reruns, and other 90s sitcoms.
I
already boast a razor-sharp, professional-grade knowledge of Seinfeld, Friends,
King of Queens, The Golden Girls, and Everyone Loves Raymond, but I am a little
behind with ABC’s TGIF 90s lineup. The
good news is that Jen has the razor-sharp knowledge of those shows (Full House,
Boy Meets World, Family Matters, etc.).
So, whilst I am doing whatever I am doing (painting, baking) and I hear
inconsistencies in Full house, I know that I can send a question to Jen, and
she’ll fire back an explanation. It’s
actually pretty funny.
Weeks later...
I think I’ll plan out getting out of the house more around
February, so until then, come on over.
Smidgen, Cow and I will be watching Full House. There’s a spot on the sofa for you. Bring Chinese food.
Not wealthy, still FAAABULOUUSSSSS
It occurs to me that people must think that I am so
wealthy. This could not be further than
the truth. I am just ridiculously
blessed.
This past Washington State trip, for example - guess how much that cost me. Go ahead, guess.
For a 7 day vacation across the country.
I’ll just tell you:
$359.66 – Hotel & Car
$8 – Parking
$24.19 – Gas
And then the cost of food & a sweatshirt, plus some food
to take home for gifts – let’s call it $120.
PLUS, don’t forget my extraordinary cost saving measures of having
a flu and keeping us in one place for a whole day. Again, YOU’RE WELCOME, KATE. The things I do for us.
Also, when you can't afford something, timewise or cashwise, do what I do - Go up to someone and just start photographing them enjoying it. They won't mind.
Piroshky Piroshky. A wonderous place with an hour-long line.
The line wraps around. Nope. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.
"Hello! What did you get? Can I smell it?"
"You gonna eat that? Okay, go slow. I'm capturing the moment."
"Oh, that's good... yeah... take a bite... what's it like??"
It's not weird at all. It's a way to make friends. YOU'RE WELCOME. P.S. Do be sure that you are well dressed, as this does not work if you look like a homeless bum.
Airfare was in points and by point donation, and everything
else was just dirt cheap and Pricelined, and then we just did stuff that doesn’t
cost money. Hiking through the forest
doesn’t cost money.
And, just befriend and be nice to those around you, and you
never know what will happen. Look at
this drink.
This drink contains:
- Bailey’s
- Kaluah
- Grey Goose
- Amaretto
- Dr. Pepper
It’s been observed that there is just something about me that draws the
gay guys to me. I love it. They must just recognize or sense that I love them and
am a fierce ally.
This flight attendant was so wonderful. You know how Southwest is famous for their
flight attendant flight safety speeches?
His was really good. It went
something like:
“In the unlikely event that the captain decides to make
Southwest Airlines into Southwest Cruise lines, please put the inflatable life
vest over your head and pull… but for those of you who ABSOLUTELY must do
things the difficult way, you can inflate the vest by blowing on the red
rube. The red tube, incidentally, is the
same color red as the speedo I will be wearing later tonight in the hot tub in
the hotel in San Diego, if you want to come and see me. Once your vest
is inflated, just kick-paddle-kick-paddle to the shore. You’ll recognize us, we’ll be the ones who
are well dressed, with the liquor safe, handing out those world famous fresh
peanuts. If you don’t like the jokes on
this flight, there are 8 exits… In the
event of a loss of pressure, you’ll see these LOVELY, designed-by-Coach-Versace-and-Martha-Stewart
saffron yellow masks come down… if you are traveling with children, WHY??? Put the mask over the one with the most
potential, as they will be the one contributing to your retirement fund. Remember that things shift in the overhead
bins, and it is SO MUCH PAPERWORK for me when things fall on your head, so please be
careful. There is a $2,200 fee for
smoking in the laboratory, and we know you don’t have that kind of money,
otherwise you wouldn’t be flying Southwest.
Just as a REMINDER, if you marry one of us, you’ll fly for free,
however, I must warn you that one of us is very high maintenance compared to
the other three.”
Well anyway, it was amusing.
FYI, this is in the future.
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