All of the things, all of the stuff

Things

I have a theory that any typical woman has on her person at any given time between 8-12 types of lip stick/gloss/liner.

The real truth that will come out is how many lipthings a woman has in total, including the collection she keeps at home - the collection that rarely comes out.  I would call it "the lipstick graveyard," but I know just as well as all women do that wouldn't be an accurate statement.  There's a time and a place for all lipsticks/glosses/liners which are not in a trash can.  

Go ahead and have a woman walk through her "lipstick graveyard."  You'll find the funniest stories on why a woman will not throw out old lipsticks. 

"This one is about 8 years old, but they don't sell it anymore and I love it."  

"This one totally dries out my lips and flakes, but if you combine it with a few different kinds of gloss, the color is really beautiful."   

"This one is way too dark; I didn't realize how dark it was when I bought it, but it cost $9, so I'm going to keep it, because one day I might wear it, like as part of a Halloween costume or something."   

"This one I never wear except for very special occasions, because it cost $45."   

"This one has a really gross texture to it, but it smells soooo good."

Trust me.  It's true.

They are all about to act like it's not true, but it's true.

You know it, I know it, and the American people know it.

Go ahead, next time you are out at a casual meal, ask the women with purses on them how many lipthings they have on them.  Go ahead.

Are you ready to see my collection?

You have no idea how long it's going to take me to scatter all of this around my house again back to where I found it all.

Yup. That's it.  I'd say the left 1/3 of the circle is on me at all times in my purse, and the rest is in the home-based graveyard.

Update: I just found 6 more in my make-up case.

ADDING YOURS!
Here are the self-confessed submissions I've received... send me your lipstuff collection, and I'll post it!

Rachel

 Thanks for your honesty, Rachel.

Melissa

Thanks for your honesty, Melissa, 

and for the truth about your eye shadow collection.

I also have a collection of sunglasses.  Someone else might have just said, "Veronica has entirely too many sunglasses," but again, there is a time and a place for all sunglasses.

I didn't even go out and search my car, but let's assume we'd add about 5 more.

I don't know how this happened. My educated guess would be that after years of being used to losing every pair of sunglasses, I just kept buying them, and somewhere along the line got better at not losing them.

The best pair of sunglasses I've ever owned are the ones in that front row in the middle.  They are... believe it or not... the sunglasses I bought at the Taylor Swift concert, and they are polerized.  I can see things invisible to the naked eye in them - they have been amazing for archery and for all of my water things I've done this year, LIKE TUBING!

Side note - I want to go tubing all of the time.  I went again recently, this time down the Antietam Creek with my mother and stepfather for her birthday, and it was a blast.

The only slight problem is that I am a delicate flower and get injured very easily, and I flipped my tube a lot this time, resulting in pretty bad bruises.  

I took this photo literally 2 weeks 

after tubing, and it was still this bad.

But I digress... 

The good news is that I am the easiest person in the world to buy presents for.  Just get me lipthings, sunglasses, tea, or and soap.  

I'm not getting up to take a picture of my soap collection, but those who know... know. 

When Melissa was living here, she came into my bedroom one night, and sat down on my bed, with a straight and totally serious face said, "Hey.  So, if you die suddenly...  :: pregnant pause :: what would you like me to do with your soap collection?"   I still laugh about it at least once a week.  She totally called me out, and caught me off-guard, but she definitely got me nailed down.

One other area where I am well-stocked is my collection of tools, and house-y things.  

What single young female has this many tools and things?

This is ONE of my tool drawers.

I have so many tools and house-y things that I have to store things all around the house.  Don't be surprised if you are spending the night and there's a sledgehammer, crowbar, and hammers under the guest bed.  Be careful opening the linen closet, because spare curtain rods and (mounds! of) electric cords will probably fall on you.  I NEED IT ALL.  

Stuff 

I've said before how people must think I have all of the  money, with how much traveling I do, and, now that you know, how many things I have.  The truth is that I just acquire things... it's amazing, really.  People gift me things, or people move and let me have their things, or people just hate their stuff and know that I will take your things 90% of the time.  

Before you even finish your sentence, "Hey, Veronica? I am redoing my kitchen, and I have some things I'm going to get rid of, do you..." I'll be ready with, "YES I DO what time should I be over to pick up everything?  What else are you changing?  Do you have like, a nightstand?  Lamps you don't want?" 

I just heard a bunch of readers "amen"ing, because if you are reading this, I probably have things that were once yours.

I admit to being out of touch with what my friends would consider normal shopping, primarily because I am pretentious and snobby and won't go to Wal-mart.  I recently tried to go to Aldi for the first time, because my friends (with families) swear by it.  But once I was there, I got snobby, and the conversation would go: 

Friend: "Look, these strawberries are so cheap - this is like a whole dollar less than the grocery store!"
Me: "Yeah... are they organic?"
Friend: "Umno."
Me: "Well... are they even remotely local? Where is this food coming from?"
Friend: "Um... I don't know, the [expletive] strawberry farm??!"
Me: 

 There's definitely a disconnect.

But I know when to call BS... and I'm calling it.

I did go to WalMart the other day because it was on my way home and Target would have been an additional 10 minutes in the car.

Here is the reason America is so obese: 

Basically the same price for ONE fresh pepper, or a whole box of garbage food.

If I were a single parent, or a parent with many kids for whom I am responsible to feed, guess which one seems more practical.

Are you kidding me?!

There's got to be a solution.

TAYLOR SWIFT And The Summer Concert Series 2015

Have you seen Taylor's most recent video?  You must.  She is flawless.  And she recruited Scott Eastwood.

SCOTT. EASTWOOD.

Lawdt jezus it's a fire.

Did I never tell you about our concert experience?!  Oh my word.  My apologies.

Long story short, it was hands-down the best concert I have ever attended in my life.  We started with pretty awful seats for having paid almost $200 per ticket (this is why it was a life-experience... ) and we were on the opposite side of the stage, with an obstructed view.

She would have been a little dot

After the first couple of opening acts, I was forced by Kate because she wouldn't do it able to...erm... acquire not only FIELD tickets, but actual PIT access bands!  It was incredible.  We went from being on the other side of the zip code from her, to literally 5 yards away.

AND... guest performer LORDE!

It was incredible.

I can't wait to go see Taylor again.  I have really had to do some serious self-talk to avoid just going to see her anywhere on the East coast.  The struggle has been real.

I carried around the bracelets from Taylor's concert for a few weeks until they died.  Even Larry got down with the bracelets.  

I've gone to lots of concerts this year.  Of course, I saw the Great Bette Midler, Taylor Swift, Bryan Adams, and I've got Ed Sheeran is coming up soon.

I know that you are probably wondering where the update is regarding the Bryan Adams concert, since it was such a life-changing event, and you were probably expecting the entire story about how Bryan and I met and became best friends and how we are now happily-ever-texting relationship, but alas, my fate was thwarted.  

I spent most of August really sick, battling laryngitis and a terrible cough.  Lost my voice entirely for about a week, and had to work from home a lot.  I felt okay, I just couldn't, you know, breathe or talk.  I was okay as long as I didn't have to attempt to do anything except breathe normally and not speak.  Alas, it seems that even if you specifically tell people that you can't talk, they will still talk to you.  The conversation would go like this:  

Veronica: :: inaudible noises indicating that she has no voice ::
Colleague:: Oh, okay.  So what is the status update on the project with Roger?
Veronica: 

Seriously, just send me an e-mail.  In fact, let's go ahead and make that a best practice.

This means that at the Bryan Adams concert I went to at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, (Please let it be noted that I drove 9 hours to see him,) I had to sit in my chair quietly, with my hands folded in my lap. This was at the peak of my illness, and if I even so much as opened my mouth, I would be set into a coughing fit.  

Bryan is the type of performer who really interacts with the audience, so he called everyone to come closer to the stage, and sing at the top of their voices.  I, however, stayed planted and basically felt like this.

But it's okay.  Now I have seen his performance, and I was able to observe what it will take to get backstage.  Now I have a plan developed for the NEXT time I see him. Mwwaaaahahahaha.... 

I did get to spend some quality time with my cousin up in Connecticut.  I spent a lot of my childhood in Connecticut, and it really is lovely.  My cousin lives in a beautiful area.  You'd have to see it to believe it; it's much different than Maryland.  AND... she lives right behind cows.  COWS!  We love cows.  

Cows!

Bawk bawk bawk bawk....

Public Notice: If you love me, you will buy these for me.

Lots of people were talking yesterday and today about the possibility of more protests and upheaval today because of continuing developments with the Freddie Gray case.  The corporate communications at my company sent a blast e-mail to all Maryland associates, so now people who don't even work at the Baltimore office are in a tizzy.  It's so silly.

Jennifer 3:56 PM:

sooo... we are scared to come downtown tomorrow

lol

Veronica 3:57 PM:

ohhhh

Jennifer 3:57 PM:

haha

Veronica 3:57 PM:

....bawk bawk bawk bawk

Jennifer 3:57 PM:

But seriously... do you think it would be better if everyone came to Owings Mills?

My boss wanted me to check with you before we came down

Veronica 3:58 PM:

LOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk

Jennifer 3:58 PM:

My boss knows you control everyone's calendars.

I mean, I will run people over in traffic, if necessary :)

 Veronica 3:59 PM:

I am checking with my main dude

Jennifer 3:59 PM:

Ok thanks

Veronica 4:04 PM:

Okay, I'm back.  He also called you poultry.

To be fair, he didn't literally call her poultry... I was summerizing.  That's my job, after all.  I believe his actual words were, "What? I don't have time for this in my life..." which made me very happy...  The complete brush-off. I love my guys. 

Speaking of work conversations, there are a couple I have been saving for you.

There is a new subscriber to my blog who, bless him, e-mails me almost every day if I don't blog.  Some days he is more violent in his notes to me than others, from a gentle "Good morning, Ms. NonBlogger" to this:

Neil 1:52 PM:

So is it safe to say you've quit blogging?

No "Good morning" or anything.

It's funny when people try to force a blog entry upon me. It usually doesn't end well (for them.)

Neil 4:00 PM:

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the Republican debacle last week.

*debate

Meh...whatever.

Veronica 4:01 PM:

This is exactly how I feel about it:  

Neil 4:03 PM:

LOL

LOLOL

I'm crying!

 Veronica 4:03 PM:

:-)

And let us not forget The Temp, who is like my kid brother, hates that I call him "The Temp," and who thinks that I am Mallory from the show "Archer."  

He's not wrong.  See previous posts. 

Veronica [9:37 AM]:

Hello The Temp.

The Temp [9:37 AM]:

Hello Veronica

 Veronica [9:37 AM]:

I just had to throw a Mallory face at someone, and it made me think of you.

That is all.

Temp [9:39 AM]:

had to throw a Mallory at someone?

You are always Mallory

Meaning you are always throwing Mallorys at people

In every conversation

that you ever have

Veronica [9:40 AM]:

Hearing you say that brings peace to the spot where a human heart should be.

And finally, let's talk about how to deal with stress, okay?  This can apply to anything in your life.

Gym Rat 8:37 AM:

Btw, working on the governance report right now- got some slides yesterday so hope to have Prism updated today

Veronica 8:37 AM:

Ok.

G.R. 8:37 AM:

Do you have a date that you want it by so you can get it to print on time?

 Veronica 8:39 AM:

Not yet

I'm not a goal oriented person like you!

G.R. 8:39 AM:

lol

I wanted to stay home today so badly

Veronica 8:40 AM:

Because you were scared?

Of coming to work

because there's work there

and then you'd have to do it

G.R. 8:40 AM:

basically lol

Veronica 8:40 AM:

I go through that every day

G.R. 8:40 AM:

What do you do to motivate yourself?

Veronica 8:41 AM:

I'm amazing at breaking things down into bite-sized pieces, which is basically the opposite of being goal oriented.

Goal oriented - everything you are doing, you are working TOWARDS something... there is an achievable goal.

There is a thing that becomes complete. Boxes are checked.  You go to bed at night counting things you've accomplished.

I do not do that.

I break things down into one million tiny successes.

I'll be like omg I do not want to go to work today.

If i have to go to work, I have to do things.

I wont even eat lunch today, I know it.

People are going to talk to me,

and expect things of me.

Well, whatever; that's their problem.  For right now, I am going to work on looking amazing.

And then I am going to shut down the house.  Okay that's good.  My house is amazing.  Are the cats ok?  Oh yeah there they are.  They are good.  MAMA IS GOING TO GO MAKE MONEY SO THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE LIVING HERE

They don't care.

Well whatever. Ok here I go.  I'm in my car.

My car is cute.  I love my car

Dude, I am such an adult.

There are people without a car.

They take the bus.

I am too pretty for public transportation.

Well let's see what the road is doing.

Veronica 8:45 AM:

And see... just like that... you are not even thinking about work any more

G.R. 8:45 AM:

I need to subscribe to your thought train

I feel as though this is blog worthy

I hope you're copy pasting this