feeling like sugar honey iced tea

Hey, I want to take a minute to talk to you about something kind of boring and unfun.  

It's really easy to feel down about yourself.  When someone else whom you respect also notices/points out your flaws, it makes the world seem like a dark fog has settled over and in your life.  It's hard to shake off that fog.  This is a sentiment to which most people can relate.

Why am I talking about this?  Well, I don't know why I needed to bring it up right now.  Maybe because I had 23 hours of driving time to think and over-think things last weekend.  I've been feeling like (s)ugar (h)oney (i)ced (t)ea a lot lately, (that's a southern belle trick to cursing) and it's mostly self-inflicted, and what's more frustrated is that it is self-inflicted due to other people's opinions.  Isn't that the worst?  Why do I give a tiny rat's behind about what so-and-so thinks of me?  It's one thing when someone whom you respect critiques you, and it is another thing when an acquaintance echos negative thoughts you've already thought about yourself.  It just doesn't help.  You know that you should not care, and yet it sticks to you.

I had a pretty productive conversation about this at work this week with one of my colleagues.  We have both been made to feel like garbage about ourselves due to the same person's behaviors.

I don't often make New Years resolutions, since it's hard to improve upon perfection (zing!), but this year, I knew I wanted to keep one thing in the back of my mind this year.  It's an area where I have failed in the past, and I know that I can do better.

I heard this Keith Urban song called "Without You" a few years ago, and it's a song he dedicated to his smokin' hot wife (and my doppelganger) Nicole Kidman.  There is a line in there that I heard a couple of years ago which really struck me.

"And people that I barely knew, 

They love me cuz I'm part of you."

I was really moved by this line, because I thought it was such a wonderful thing to say to someone.  I want this to be one of my main goals in life.  I want people to like each other just out of connection of knowing me.  "Oh you know Veronica? I love her and so I know that I will love you."  And to put myself out in the open here on this blog, I can admit that I can point to situations where the opposite effect was had.  I was about to get specific, but there is no need, since I am sure that we can all think of situations in our life which run parallel to this problem.

On the highest level, I want at the very least for people to not feel bad about themselves after hanging out with me.  I want to leave people (not my inner circle - y'all have to deal with all of my colors - sorry.  You may exit the ride at any time.) feeling at least kinda good after hanging out with me.  Otherwise, what's the point?  What's the point of any of this?

The easiest thing in this world to do is rip other people apart and make other people feel bad.  It's not a skill at all.  You can't be cruel and name it Being Truthful.  Some of you may be scoffing at your computer right now, because you think that this is the kettle calling the pot black here, and probably in some cases, that might be fair.

Anyway, this really complicated and over-thought concept is really quite simple: It comes back to that Keith Urban line.

That's it; that's all I want.  That is my goal.  There will be days I fail that goal, but all I can do is try to remember to leave people feeling not like sugar honey iced tea, even if they started hanging out with me in that state.

Except, of course, when it is necessary: