Wishing Away Time and Interviews

I thought this was very clever.

Wishing Away Time

As you probably know by now, small talk rubs me the wrong way.  I'm sorry, but yes, I am one of those people who can only take about 3.5 seconds of small talk.  

This is enough for "Hello, how's it going? Good..."  Past that, I do not want to small talk, unless you really want to go get a beer or take me out to dinner or go on a long walk and talk about it.  

The WORST are people (strangers) who actually start with "Oh, well, I'm here," or, "I've been better."  Okay, either we are going to get coffee and actually talk about this, or please just don't even open the can of worms.  I can't stand humoring people.

Small talk also includes when I am sitting at my desk (newsflash: I do not have time to talk to anyone at work) and someone comes up and asks or talks about the weather.  DUDE.  I KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW; WE BOTH SIT HERE.  WE HAVE THE SAME INFORMATION.  It drives me crazy, however I have to suppress those maniacal feelings and be a normal person.  It's awful.

But these things are just part of life.

What I really do not understand, and I try to divert, is when people say things like, "Well, pretty good for a Monday."   Or, "Well, it's Wednesday!  Week's halfway over!"   I know that it seems simple and fun and normal for people to live for the weekend, but to me, I just hear people wishing time away.  

This goes for lots of things, including when people count down to spring or summer, and can't wait for winter to be over. Embrace all the seasons, people!

What's wrong with Tuesday?  Nothing.  I love Mondays. January has its perks, too. Every day above dirt is a good day.  If you catch yourself saying stuff like this, think of other ways to make small talk.  Better yet - find ways to find the miracles in your days.

There is someone who swings by my desk almost every day and says, "Happy Monday!"  or whatever day it is - and to me, that is more of a celebration of the day, and much better than "UGH it's a Monday!"  

Again, this is one of those silly things that you probably think I'm just being picky and ridiculous and wasting your life about, but I guess I am someone who over-charishes each day.  It's part of the red-white-and-blue that runs through me that remembers that people have died, still die, and are otherwise fighting for my right to wake up, take a shower, drive to work, run around my job like a crazy person, laugh all day, giggle unapologetically, eat fresh food which is abudant, drink all of the clean water I can possibly handle, breathe fresh air, drive home, and go to sleep (or whatever) feeling safe every single day of my American life.  Or not - I could just lay in bed all day, or watch Netflix all day, or go run around the forest all day, or whatever I want, because the price has been paid and continues to be paid by The Brave.

It's our human duty to enjoy the days we are gifted.  If you are saying to yourself, "life is not a gift when __insert hardship__" then either you and I are going to go head to head, or never talk about it.

Annnny wayyyy... 

Interviews

My colleague/friend and I have been interviewing some folks for an admin position to support my team and me.  I don't know if you have ever had the chance to read David Thorne's blog about interviewing, but it is HILARIOUS.  I love him.  Click here to go check out his hilarious blog about interviewing.  It's really been inspirational.

Sara and I have to prep days ahead of the interviews to make sure that we get all of our awful questions out of our systems so that we can appear to be professional on our first impression.  

So we brainstorm awful things like, "What is your religion or political affiliation?"  "How many children do you have, and are they all legitimate?"  

"What is your ancestery?" "What's your favorite color?"  "What are you going to be for Halloween?"  (This shows... planning.. forcasting... anticipating future needs... right?)

Veronica [2:01 PM]:

"How old are you?  How much do you weigh?  Do you like Yanni/Celine/Bryan Adams?  

Do you like Fleetwood Mac (Ew)?  

Do you like fishing?  

At what age did you get married?  Was it cuz you were pregnant?"

we are tvw

Sara [2:03 PM]:

are your arms the same length? 

are both of your eyes motivated? 

what drugs have you done/are currently doing? 

when asked at a restaurant whether you want tap or seltzer what do you say? 

why would you not hire yourself?

 Veronica [2:05 PM]:

What are the things that keep you up at night? 

What regrets do you have?  
How is your relationship with your parents? 

Do you have siblings?  Are they legitimate?  

What are your biggest pet peeves? 

Are you as excited as I am for shoulder pads to come back in style? 

What do you hate about yourself? 

Do you plan on calling out of work a lot?  Are your kids going to make you call out a lot? 

Where do you live? Are you going to be "working from home" a lot because you live in the boonies?

 Veronica [2:08 PM]:

We'll be taking her to lunch for her interview

 Sara [2:08 PM]:

I am going to order ALLL OF THE FOOD

Veronica [2:08 PM]:

AND we will answer the water question

 Sara [2:08 PM]:

water question?

 Veronica [2:08 PM]:

tap vs seltzer

Sara [2:08 PM]:

oh yes!

Did you like my eye question?

 Veronica [2:08 PM]:

Yeah, I was thinking, "Ummm I don't know what that means, but you had better answer it correctly.

I would totally back you on that question.

Sara [2:08 PM]:

lazy eye = not motivated eye

Veronica [2:08 PM]:

Wow. Wow, Sara.

 Sara [2:09 PM]:

It is a joke I heard somewhere once and it still makes me laugh

Veronica [2:26 PM]:

"Are you a total girl when it comes to bugs?"

Sara [2:27 PM]:

well I would need someone who can kill any potential bugs 

[in case I am not at work to take care of it for Sara.]

We've actually had so many funny questions, but I forget to make note of them at the time.  But at least we get it out of our system long enough for the interview.  However, come their first day of work, all bets are off.  Please reference the temp's account of his first day here, in this post. (Click here)

But yeah, probably you should feel some compassion for people who actually volunteer to sit across from us and subject themselves to our interrogations.

  

  

Sara

Veronica

  Want to apply?

feeling like sugar honey iced tea

Hey, I want to take a minute to talk to you about something kind of boring and unfun.  

It's really easy to feel down about yourself.  When someone else whom you respect also notices/points out your flaws, it makes the world seem like a dark fog has settled over and in your life.  It's hard to shake off that fog.  This is a sentiment to which most people can relate.

Why am I talking about this?  Well, I don't know why I needed to bring it up right now.  Maybe because I had 23 hours of driving time to think and over-think things last weekend.  I've been feeling like (s)ugar (h)oney (i)ced (t)ea a lot lately, (that's a southern belle trick to cursing) and it's mostly self-inflicted, and what's more frustrated is that it is self-inflicted due to other people's opinions.  Isn't that the worst?  Why do I give a tiny rat's behind about what so-and-so thinks of me?  It's one thing when someone whom you respect critiques you, and it is another thing when an acquaintance echos negative thoughts you've already thought about yourself.  It just doesn't help.  You know that you should not care, and yet it sticks to you.

I had a pretty productive conversation about this at work this week with one of my colleagues.  We have both been made to feel like garbage about ourselves due to the same person's behaviors.

I don't often make New Years resolutions, since it's hard to improve upon perfection (zing!), but this year, I knew I wanted to keep one thing in the back of my mind this year.  It's an area where I have failed in the past, and I know that I can do better.

I heard this Keith Urban song called "Without You" a few years ago, and it's a song he dedicated to his smokin' hot wife (and my doppelganger) Nicole Kidman.  There is a line in there that I heard a couple of years ago which really struck me.

"And people that I barely knew, 

They love me cuz I'm part of you."

I was really moved by this line, because I thought it was such a wonderful thing to say to someone.  I want this to be one of my main goals in life.  I want people to like each other just out of connection of knowing me.  "Oh you know Veronica? I love her and so I know that I will love you."  And to put myself out in the open here on this blog, I can admit that I can point to situations where the opposite effect was had.  I was about to get specific, but there is no need, since I am sure that we can all think of situations in our life which run parallel to this problem.

On the highest level, I want at the very least for people to not feel bad about themselves after hanging out with me.  I want to leave people (not my inner circle - y'all have to deal with all of my colors - sorry.  You may exit the ride at any time.) feeling at least kinda good after hanging out with me.  Otherwise, what's the point?  What's the point of any of this?

The easiest thing in this world to do is rip other people apart and make other people feel bad.  It's not a skill at all.  You can't be cruel and name it Being Truthful.  Some of you may be scoffing at your computer right now, because you think that this is the kettle calling the pot black here, and probably in some cases, that might be fair.

Anyway, this really complicated and over-thought concept is really quite simple: It comes back to that Keith Urban line.

That's it; that's all I want.  That is my goal.  There will be days I fail that goal, but all I can do is try to remember to leave people feeling not like sugar honey iced tea, even if they started hanging out with me in that state.

Except, of course, when it is necessary:

Louisville and Tinder Part V

It's been so long since I have blogged that I don't even remember how to do it, or where to begin.  But I figure that I better go ahead and make an attempt, since I have been getting some passive aggressive comments pointed at my lack of posting.  Hopefully, by the time I get back from Louisville, I will have remembered how to blog.

I'm writing this from Louisville, Kentucky, where the indoor Nationals are taking place for NFAA.  You may be wondering why I am here.  Well, I can't tell you that until you buy me like 3 beers.  Kake took me to pick up the rental car yesterday, and she asked where I was going, and I told her, and she could not comprehend that I was going to Louisville all by myself, since the concept of independent travel does not compute in her head.

It's so cool to see tons of folks walking around carrying bows and arrows.  There are archery people EVERYWHERE!

Archery people are weird.  I am telling you this as an informant from the inside.  As I left practice tonight, this guy followed behind me and talked THE ENTIRE WALK from the convention center to my floor in the hotel.  I have never seen this person before, and wasn't even returning the conversation; he was just happy to talk to my back.  Then there was this other really weird guy in a crowded elevator who was really bizarro, and when he left the elevator, the two young archers left with me were saying very mean things about him.  I said before leaving the elevator, as if by explanation, "Archery people are weird." And they both exclaimed, "REALLY WEIRD!  We are all really weird!"

Myself excluded, of course.  And my inner circle of archery people.  OKAY FINE, we are all weird, but at least me and my group are normal-weird, more like quirky, and not like uncomfortable, creepy weird.

Wish me luck in my shooting this weekend; I need it.  I brought all of my lucky things with me.

Okay, I have 3 other blogs in the works, I just haven't posted them  yet, so stay tuned.  Until then, here are some Tinder gems for you.

First of all and for the record, it is super awkward to bump into colleagues, ex-roommates, and other people you simply don't want to run into on Tinder.  You do not even know.

Okay, okay here you go:

Can't tell which direction to swipe.... 

It's so bad, yet so, so good.

This is your pick up line?  This?  Seriously?!

And here is one on par with that one...

Here are a bunch of other nopes:

"What is that?! Did he catch underwear?" - Meg

"No, I think it is a skate." - Me

"Oh.  Maybe his pick up line should be, 'I will catch your heart like I caught this skate." -Meg

He should catch some pants.

"Vomit."

Um... never.  

Oh wait, never mind; sign me up.

I actually believe I dated this guy already, in my late teens:

This is this guy's leading profile picture.  WHY?!

Okay, brace yourself for this:

I actually could name a few people who would like to name Jon, but alas, 

I do not write for Sex & The City.

Okay, listen, I get that people have pasts, and that people make mistakes, but why would you put the photo of you LEAVING PRISON as your only profile photo??

And then, of course, we have the guy who acts like he is not cheating on his wife.  I think that this guy legitimately did not know how Tinder worked yet, and that I could see multiple photos.  Tinder pulls your profile from your Facebook account - you don't just build a profile, so he might not have realized that yet.  Or, (and this is never too far from my mind,) his whole Tinder account was created as a test by his wife, and she is testing to see what would happen if he went on the market.  Women (okay, people) are twisted, so this kind of stuff happens.

Okay, multiple photos of he and his wife:

So he says hello to me, and I respond, and don't take long to cut right to the chase:

And then.. DELETE!  He was gone.  He must have realized the actual deal with Tinder.  Once someone "unmatch"es with you, everything, including your conversation, vanishes from history.  That's why I was taking screen shots live, as the convo was happening, because I knew he would cancel the conversation.

I-see-what-you-did-there.  This guy is back!

Okay, even just having to look at those photos just to upload them here has me wanting to toss my cookies, as they say.

Here are two who I didn't know what to do:

Okay, you are both border-line d-bags, because even though these photos are very d-bag-y, you've done a good job on making it seem like you are not posing for a Tinder picture.  Decisions, decisions.  GET IT?  D-cisions. Ha. Punny.

This was good:

Also, Facebook has been suggesting sites for me, such as this:

And similar dating sites about "These single dads are done with games.  Sign up now!"

You're on my list, Facebook.  You better watch yourself.

That's all of the Tinder things I have for you.  Those were actually from about a month ago, and I have been too busy over the past couple of weeks to be on it searching again for good ones for you.

Okay... wish me luck!