Tinder, Fertility, And Assorted Findings

I know that it has been a while since I have posted.  I've been traveling, and fighting illness, so I haven't had a chance to sit down and write.  However, you people who read this blog, and then ask for more, are what encourages and reminds me to write, so thank you for your feedback.  

Some people even email me literally every single day with just the subject line "BLOG?!" and nothing else in the email, like a crazy, stalker, overly attached blog reader. 

It's great.  I love it.

Tinder - Time to SWIPE RIGHT!!!!(?)

One of my most beloved friends got a Tinder account and claims that she found the love of her life.  I do basically anything she tells me to do, so she tells me to download Tinder, which I do, and it is a total joke.  As in, actually hilarious.  I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU, BLOG READERS.  Mostly, for my married friends, who want to live vicariously through me.

  

I would like to present some of the best gems I have found.  You’re welcome.

I present to you… Alessandro

All I have to say to that is...

This intriguing and probably popular lover was found in the vicinity of Forks, WA.  You’ve got to be forking kidding me.  Apparently Forks has quite the BDSM scene.  In case you're into that sort of thing.  

Then there's this gem of a fella.  Believe it or not, there's a lot of this sort of thing on Tinder.

Ummmm.....

This guy got an immediate swipe left due to the fact that EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PHOTO IS WRONG.  Wrong form, wrong kind of bow… this guy is phony and a faker.  COME ON.  Joker.  Like Taylor Swift says, the fakers gonna fake fake fake fake fake.

More to come, if I remember to check Tinder.  YOU'RE WELCOME. 

Fertility

You know how I mentioned before that Pandora has been very rude lately regarding suggesting that my fertility is coming to an end?  Well now it is becoming more aggressive; it is actually inviting me to egg freezing conventions.

Facebook has also started making not-so-subtle hints.

Rude.

Self Envy

I have the app Timehop, which shows you your social media posts “on this day” from years past.  It’s awesome – almost every day there is a gem from something very clever and funny that I said in years past.

However, sometimes, I am just filled with envy… of myself.  I’ll look at a post and think, “What?... that’s crazy.”  And I’m actually jealous of my own history.

Flying over Greenland?  Ugh.  Jealousy.

Being white

Daniela keeps sending me links to articles about pumpkin spice and pumpkin beer and other things pumpkin.  Because I'm white.  I don't know if she's white or not, I've never asked.  Still.  It feels racist.

Out of sight, out of heaven? 

Hey, look at this sign we passed in Washington.

It says, “God does not believe in atheists therefore they do not exist.”

Thoughts, comments, snide remarks?

I know that I owe you some discussion about my recent trip to Washington, and I'll get there eventually.  Hold your horses.  Laters.