From: Miglin, Veronica
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 1:41 PM
To: Katelyn Sullivan
Subject: FW: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
I fear that my colleagues do not have a fantastic sense of humor.
I can’t work with that.
This lady Tonia asked me to cover her desk for like a half hour. I can’t do anything, since I don’t have a laptop, so I just sit there, bored. She has all this scribbled-down notes everywhere with Jesus things, it’s a mess. Like “rejoice in the lord always” yadda … just scribbled on post its all around. She had a business card that said “Hello. This is God. I have everything taken care of today, so just relax.” Or something. So then, this:
From: Green, Tonia
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 1:22 PM
To: Green, Tonia
Cc: Miglin, Veronica
Subject: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
Karen Long called regarding a meeting with Smith/Dash, asked that you call her back when you return to your desk.
I feel the need to organize and clean around your desk. I also wish I had my laminating machine so that I could re-write some of this stuff on fancy paper and then laminate it so that it is all pretty and in one place.
I see your yellow business card here from God. I imagine it was pretty hard to get an in-person on God’s calendar, to receive a business card. I was unaware that God had business cards. I would have imagined that they would be more masculine, not with flowers and a flower/polka dot tea mug, all whilst using the “curlz” font. I see God as more of a “Tempas Sans”, “Papyrus” , or, in very intimate moments, “Edwardian Script.” But, basically never “Curlz.” Even when God is speaking in a jovial manner, and trying to have a light-hearted moment, I think that, at His most casual, he would use “Comic Sans” and basically nothing that would ever be less formal than that. Also, I picture God’s tea mug would be more like huge, Big Gulp, 24 oz., mug… one of those ones where you can custom design it, so that he could have tiny pictures of all of His children on it, so that he could brag about them when he is in important business meetings.
Oh, Sharon is back, so she said I could go back to my desk now.
Fondly,
From: Green, Tonia
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 1:32 PM
To: Miglin, Veronica
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
What an awesome note – thanks again!
Thanks,
Tonia Green
From: Katelyn Sullivan
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 1:47 PM
To: Miglin, Veronica;
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
I just died laughing at my desk!!!!
Kate Sullivan
___________________________________________________________________________
From: Miglin, Veronica
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:03 PM
To: Katelyn Sullivan; Melissa
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
Thank you, Kate. That is a normal reaction. I think that if Eli and I got together, we would have a fantastic blog.
Melissa – Eli is that Mormon blogger whom the female Mormon freaked about when she discovered that I know of him. Also, you is kind, you is smart, you is important.
From: Katelyn Sullivan
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:04 PM
To: Miglin, Veronica
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
God does NOT use “curlz” font.
Kate Sullivan
From: Miglin, Veronica
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:07 PM
To: Katelyn Sullivan
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
Never in His Holy Life.
From: Katelyn Sullivan
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:08 PM
To: Miglin, Veronica
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
He probably doesn’t even have a standard font he uses. It’s probably something like elfish from LOTR.
Kate Sullivan
From: Miglin, Veronica
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:10 PM
To: Katelyn Sullivan
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
Whatever would look good on gold plates (please refer to book of Mormon.) Gotta flow pretty easy.
From: Katelyn Sullivan
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:12 PM
To: Miglin, Veronica
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
Then definitely that … or something like this…
Kate Sullivan
From: Miglin, Veronica
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:22 PM
To: Katelyn Sullivan
Subject: RE: Whilst you departed from your designated work station
No way, that is way too fancy, God would roll his eyes at that and do Glamour’s (from the Hunger Games) “puhleeeeeez.”
I’m pretty sure God would keep it simple, like this. “Hey! I’m God. Here is a business card. Did you grab a donut? I put some donuts and coffee in the waiting room. Don’t worry about it – these donuts are a free-bee, I won’t let them affect your caloric intake for the day. Free-bee day!! All the donuts!! My favorites are those ones with rainbow sprinkles. OH and the ones with the fluffy white filling – O.M.M. (oh my me) those are sooooo gooooood. And who gets mad at an apple fritter? No one. Everyone likes apple fritters. Anyway, yeah, totes mah goats grab a donut and some coffee, and we can chat. I’ve got time. Hey, have you been keeping up with this whole Russia/Olympics/Black Widow situation? Ughhh what a mess….. you humans just MAKE A MESS! Ughhhhh. Sorry, this is my busy season, I get a little thin tempered at times like this. Don’t worry about it – you’re good. I’m good, you’re good. Hey, did you see my coffee mug? Look! See there’s you… and there’s Kate… and there’s Melissa…. And there’s Smidgen… and… wait… I think Cow is… hmmm.. well…. Oh well… oh wait there she is. So what’s up?”
From: Katelyn Sullivan
No comments:
Post a Comment