Turn Down For What

I feel like this note of instruction which came written on these chopsticks should also have been printed on my forehead at birth.

I feel that it is important for me to tell you about this, more so for your own safety rather than just randomly spouted pontifications (a.k.a.about 90% of this entire blog site.)  

(Except for the part about Sue eating your food.  I was not joking about that – that is an issue to be taken seriously.  Look at what happened to my milkshake this past weekend.  Even AFTER I threw my body over top of it.)

Her feelings were only slightly hurt when I moved all of my food and my milkshake to literally the furthest point on the table from her.

I have always had very hyper-acoustics.  Years and years ago, I went to a show that was way too loud, and it blew out my ear (which was painful for a couple of years, but now I'm used to it), and I had to get an earpiece after that.  (I owned that earpiece for about two weeks before my boyfriend-at-the-time’s Rottweiler found it on the coffee table and ate it.  I never replaced it.)

So, when I am someplace very noisy (and it’s worse if it is enclosed,) I can’t hear a darn thing, because all I hear is static, like when you turn up your car radio too loud and all you hear is static.   So places like noisy restaurants, concerts, sporting events, and even in cars, I have trouble hearing if there is too much noise.  

I usually then have no idea what is going on around me, and will need to hold your hand.  For those who have become accustomed to going in public with me, you have learned to just hold my wallet (because I will lose whatever is in my hands due to all the confusion) and push and prod me in the direction in which we are supposed to be heading.

You might not even notice how much noise you are actually hearing at any given point in your daily life, but I am aware of white noise (i.e. air conditioning), far-off noises, and things like people breathing loudly, people chewing gum, and music played in restaurants which is turned down so low that most people aren’t even aware it is playing.  

If you’ve ever spent a great deal of time with me, you know this, as I will start breaking out in song/dance to whatever is playing, and you will stare at my like I am a crazy person until you also hear the music.

While I am usually a very patient person, I lose my s*%$ about sounds.  You might not know it, but I am usually dying inside if someone next to us has been stirring their icy drink for absolutely no reason at all for the past 5 minutes.  

If someone is chewing ice, I am dying inside, and THEN you also add the element of wanting to yell at them about grinding their teeth down on ice.  Too much noise + lack of concern over dental wellness = It's just too much.

Okay, so now I have laid out one of my greatest vulnerabilities for all to know, I can tell you this next part with you now having an understanding on why this issue is a big deal to me, though it may seem like small potatoes to you.

I have become increasingly less patient about noise recently, and I am genuinely sorry about it.  It is due to two reasons:

1)   A colleague who will not stop clicking his/her pen because s/he knows that it bothers me to the ultimate level.  The clicking.  It is about 3 hours a day of just clicking – it’s gotten worse. It’s like a game to him/her.  And perhaps s/he is reading this blog right now, and I don’t even care, because I need you to know that it’s serious, and I’m fixin’ to go to HR about it, as previously mentioned.  Seriously.  It’s not funny.

      2)  A different colleague who is the worst chewer in all of the land.  Listen, I usually can do a lot of self-talk to get myself to calm down in these situations, but with this particular person, it is not just me.  Every single person on the team now owns ear buds, and it is a mad dash to put in the ear buds when said colleague comes back to their desk with food.   I am not joking when I say that the sound of it makes me want to vomit. 

A different colleague recently moved into our little neighborhood here.  On his/her first day, s/he sent me a message that said, “Do I hear… chewing?”  I had to give her the low down.  The same thing has happened to two more people who have moved in.  

It's so serious, that we even try to sound a (silent) alarm.

IM convo:

4:10 PM Other Colleague

lots of chewing.  I heard it over my telephone convo

4:10 PM Veronica

I heard it coming in; I’m in earbuds

4:11 PM Other Colleague

thanks for the heads up :-\

4:12 PM Veronica

I just got situated!!!!!!  The rule is that you place the mask over your head and secure it, pull on the tube to start the flow of oxygen, breathe normally, and THEN help others.

4:12 PM Other Colleague

you didn’t even follow through, I brought it to your attention!

Even my boss, who is against earbuds, walked over to my desk one day, and was standing there talking when she suddenly was given a large dose of the chewing, and had to excuse herself due to becoming nauseated.

I know, this all seems quite trivial, and it is.  But it is driving me insane, and it’s making me very snappy in life outside of work, as well.  So, I kind of have written this whole section by way of apology.   If I suddenly remove your pen from your hand, or pick the gum out of your mouth unexpectidly, I am sorry.  I just am very sensitive to sound in this time in my life.

If one or the other (pen clicking or the chewing) would cease, then I could handle one or the other, but I can’t handle both.  It’s like Chinese water torture.  The struggle is real.

Generally speaking, the group I work with is very heads-down, and respects the sanctity of silence.  In fact, that is our motto - "Respect the sanctity of pin-drop silence."  We have a logo and everything.  

Any time someone comes over and starts talking about/inquiring others about their weekend, the weather, next weekend, etc., prolonged conversation is generally discouraged.

Okay, well have a good (and quiet) week. Drive safely in this cold weather - ice is not your friend when it comes to driving.  OH that reminds me to post more Ice Queen jokes from work.  They are always coming in, and I forget to tell you about them.  Here is one:  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Colleague

To: Miglin, Veronica

That’s the spirit….  Are you still drinking the eggnog over there?

To: Colleague

From: Miglin, Veronica

:: Gasp ::  You just brought to my attention that I did not consume a single drop of eggnog this entire holiday season.

:: hangs head in shame. ::

From: Colleague

To: Miglin, Veronica
Don’t worry, you were busy freezing Vegas, LA, and the west coast.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Too true, too true. 

I leave you with Smidgen's reaction to a new clock that I hung.  He was not fond of the loud tic-toc sound, but he is too kind to mention his annoyance with the sound.  He does not inherit that trait from me.

Tinder Part III, Photos, Disney

Hello.  I'm just going to jump right into the treasures I have found on Tinder lately.

What happens more often than not is that I totally forget to Tinder, especially when I am OUT, like, that whole trip to the west I just took.  I bet I could have found some real gems in Vegas.  Alas, I never remember.

Oh man, that phone, tho.  He is obviously wealthy and an amazing catch, made clear by the new technology and his P bling, etc.

There are an astounding number of photos posted like these two: 

See what they did there?  I'm pretty mad about Brandon though, because he has about 4 other photos like that, except I accidently zoomed out and swiped left, and once you left-swipe someone, you can never get them back.  Believe me, I tried on this one.

And then there are the guys who have these ridiculous fitness photos:

This is the best:

Women can not relate to these photos, unless you are the chick in the above photo, second from left.

Do you know what kind of profile to which women CAN relate?

Pizzacake.  That's who.

This may just be personal preference, but I swipe left to car selfies.

Especially people who are clearly DRIVING AND CAR SELFIE-ING:

And then there are a lot of guys who post who are clearly married.  With almost all of them, I swipe left so quickly because I have never understood their angle (or, perhaps, I understand it all too well.)  However, on this one, I decided to swipe right, to see exactly the game plan here.

Meet Rob:

Okay, so far, I would have been looking for an explaination of, "girl in pic is my sister," or something. That happens a lot.  But then...

Ummmmm....

But wait, there's more!...

  

That's it.  Those are all of Rob's photos.  So, I swipe right.

Within seconds, he's chatting with me:

This went on for another few minutes... just meaningless nothing conversation.  But then, I got distracted, and forgot to check for a few hours, and by the time I came back to Tinder, he was gone.  Sorry, you guys.  :-(

Well, that's all the Tinder there is for now.

And now to clear out my phone of other photos:

Remember how I told you about my step dad wanting a thermal engineer thing for Christmas?  I forgot to show you this picture.  After he unwrapped it, he was pointing it at stuff to take temperatures of things, including my cats.  It turned into just playing with the red laser dot.  This was very entertaining for him.

I had lunch the other day with some ex-colleagues.  One of them, every time I see him, he tells me that he loves his office.  Pimping out his office was one of the final projects I took on before leaving that job (part of my job was facilities.)  Because our ongoing jokes there were all Anchorman related, I pimped out his new office in mahogany furnishings, since he was becoming a big deal (moving from a cube to an office.)  I mean, I really pimped out his office.  Mahogany-lined white board, desk furnishings, paperclip holder, everything.  Now, every time we have lunch or whatever, he says, "No, like, legit - I love lamp.  I love, love lamp.  I love carpet, I love lamp, I love chair, I love everything."  It's very funny.

Food

First of all, is this real life?  People feed children this garbage?? 

Next, if you don't already know, I come from a group of folks whom share everything at the table.  If you are ordering a meal, and you actually want to eat it, you need to literally throw your body over top of it, otherwise, other forks are going to land in your food.  Especially if Sue is there.  I'm telling you this in the interest of warning you, however, many of you probably already know this.  Feel free to share your stories and sad tales (Meg.)

 

This is my favorite thing I make for myself: mini bagel covered in veggi creamcheese, an inch of spinach, over-medium egg, salt & pepper.  Just FYI. 

Okay, I'll have actual stuff to talk to you about next time, not just a bunch of random photos. Maybe.

Also, I have not seen the following Disney movies, and I am ashamed:

• Pocahontas
• Sleeping Beauty
• Peter Pan
• Robin Hood

Okay, laters babe.

I left work 10 minutes early yesterday to make sure I caught this sunset.  When I told my colleague this, she scoffed.  Well... some people just don't understand the important things in life. 

Trip Out West

Okay, so I’ve been home from vacation for almost a week and a half and I have not posted a blog.  I’m the worst, I know.

Vacation was a lot of fun and had a lot of ups and downs.  It’s the same trip I took a couple of years ago at Christmas. 

I’ve never liked the desert.  I know that this doesn’t surprise you.  I don’t like it simply because I am a creature of the forest and I die without it.  I can, however, appreciate the desert.  I appreciate the beauty of the colors throughout the day. 

I respect the desert in the way that one respects the ocean; it is unpredictable and wild, and when you are in the desert, you mind your manners and respect what is around you, and understand that you are temporarily there, and you will be moving along, or else you will perish.  You are on borrowed time in the desert, just the same as you are when in the ocean.  Of course, I’m talking about the actual desert; not the cities, or the areas around water, but the actual desert. 

Like the ocean, it’s something to be admired from afar, visited briefly, and left how you found it.  To me, the desert reeks of ancient and unfounded history; the people who inhabit it are like early American pioneers; tough and a bit wily, just like the land.

I’ll preface this next part by saying that I am not the person who is usually trying to make conversation with folks in public. 

On the flight out, when boarding the plane, the guys in front of me were talking about their bows, because they could see them being loaded onto the plane.  So, of course, I had to ask them about it.  They said they were on their way to Utah to hunt for wild cats.  Which is a good thing, because I heard that they are running low on those :: insert heavy sarcasm. ::

All I have to say to that is Ew.

I was knocked out the first few hours of the flight, since it was a 7 AM flight, but I was awake the last hour or so.  When I woke up, we were approaching the desert.  I always have a window seat, so I had been looking out the window for a while, when the very tall Asian man sitting next to me leaned over and said, “What is that??”  I said, “It’s the desert.”  He said, “I don’t understand… why are there no trees or anything?!”  He could not comprehend. 

I got to talking to him for a while, and it turns out that he is on some sort of bucket-list quest (I didn’t press for details.)  He is from China, and he said he was on his way to the desert to ride ATVs through the desert.  He would see out of the window a few scattered trailers, and he asked what they were.  

When I tried to explain that people lived there, he could not wrap his mind around it.  “Why would they live in the middle of nowhere?  There are no trees – no life!”  I told him I didn’t understand it either, but some people just like that sort of thing.  Anyway, it was nice to talk to someone who was experiencing such things for the first time.  I hope he had a good time.

I flew into Vegas, and my darlingest preciousness dearest friend picked me up from the airport.  We then proceeded directly to In-N-Out Burger, as first order of business.

I want to take a minute to just express how very sad I am for you folks whom have never been to an In-N-Out Burger.  Frankly, I don’t know how you get by in life.  It’s a staple in the lives of everyone west of the Rockies.  It’s a block in the path of my life’s journey – a fond memory all through my childhood. 

Anyway, then we went to The Celine Store in Caesar’s Palace, to browse and otherwise pay our respects to The Queen.

Then I got my rental car and was on my way.

I spent a few wonderful days with my sister.  We went fishing and shopping and sheeping.

Feeshing

Sheeping

The lambs were just running back and forth, so cute!!

And, of course, the ol' family videos came out.

Me and my sister at Disney World 1k years ago.

My sister is one of the funniest people I know.  (It’s a family trait.)   For example, we were in the shopping mall in Laughlin, and I innocently proposed the idea of stopping by to visit a store which had several varieties of candy apples on display – caramel apples, snickers covered apples, M&Ms covered apples, rocky road apples – you name it, they had it.  We did our shopping first, and then stopped in the store on our way out.  Listen, we simply could not agree on an apple to split.  I don’t really like nuts in my food, and she only wanted the kinds that had nuts.  So, I kind of mentioned that we don’t really NEED one, we can just leave the store…  So we leave. 

We’re walking through the mall, and all of a sudden, I notice that my sister had been saying stuff under her breath for a while.  I take a listen, and I hear, very quiet, and very slow, “asssssssssssssshhhhooollllllllllee….”  

GASP!  How long had she been saying that?!   I kindly asked her if she was trying to say something.  She exploded, “I was just trying to have some FRUIT!  I was just trying to have some of my daily nutritional value, serving of fruits & veggies, and you ruined EVERYTHING! Assssshooooollllllee…”  

And this continued, the entire way back to the truck.  And then in the truck.  And then she called her wife and told on me.  I didn’t know what to say; I never had a justification.  

I later told my sister's wife, “We Miglins are very funny people!”  She said, without skipping a beat and without looking up, “That’s because you are all crazy people, and you can’t help yourselves.”   Touché.

So, the apple situation came up again about every 15-20 minutes for the rest of my trip.  I can still hear it at night whilst I slumber… “Assssssshoooolllllllle.”

Anyway, then I decided to bring the snow as I departed, and I brought the snow all the way to California. 

My sister said I am a snow fairy, and when I got back to the office, my colleagues were relentless in the Ice Queen jokes.  I can’t even deny it anymore. 

I got to L.A. to my other sister’s house, and we went out for New Year’s Eve to The Ivy in L.A..  

It was a very lovely meal, and I had never been there, so it was very nice.  Also it was fun to see all the cars worth twice as much $$ as my house costs roll up to the restaurant.  

I love that scene.  Given some sleep and night cream, and proper makeup and hair, I could really work that scene.

We went to the Rose Parade the next morning, and even though it was chilly, it was really so much fun. 

Then I hopped in the car and went to visit my niece in Long Beach overnight, followed by a very lovely brunch.  Afterwards, I went back to L.A. to meet my mother and stepdad at the Warner Brother’s studios, and did a tour, which included the Friends Central Perk set and a Harry Potter exhibit.

 So, that was my trip out West.  I don’t know what other vacations I will be planning this year.  What kind of journeys will you be making this year?