Work With Me, People! Work, Seinfeld, Crossfit

How you can tell it's been a productive day

I love people who can deal with me correctly.  Not that I am particularly difficult to get along with, just that I tend to be super quirky, and people don't know what to make of me most of the time.

I feel like I always have so much to talk about, and it baffles me that other people don't.  When I was working out of our Owings Mills office other day, I had lunch with my friends Cassie and Gym Rat.  After spending probably 40 minutes in banter, I realized that like usual, Gym Rat was not speaking.

Veronica:  “Someone else other than me talk.  
I can’t be the only one with things going on.”

Cassie:  “You’re not, I already told my story…”

Gym Rat:  “Well, unlike you and Cassie, I don’t have any stories about blood on my apartment walls due to crackheads breaking in, I haven’t been robbed, and I haven’t stopped any fights or filed any police reports lately."

It's true - I do have a lot of stories like that on a regular basis (and so does Cassie).  But how do other people not?  It's weird to me. 

Things are tough at work right now, across my team. Scotty and I planned to go to lunch the other day. Maybe it's the theory of bonding through despondency, or maybe we really are just on the same wavelength most of the time (as I am with most of my work brothers,) but whatever the case, we are kindred spirits. We've even reduced entire sentences to just abbreviations, and we still get each other.

Veronica:

Where are we going to lunch at 12?

Scotty:

To the bridge....

Veronica:

Ok but I have heels on and I'm not changing, so keep that in mind

Scotty:

It's ok, we are going to jump off

Veronica:

but... that is a waste of shoes....

Ok I'll leave them to Elaine

Scotty:

I was thinking Chicken Rico

Veronica:

And you'll be paying for that Uber?  [Chicken Rico is like 3/4 of a mile away]

Scotty:

What? Really...it is like 3 blocks and it is nice afo

Veronica:

afo? rly? ok.

Scotty:

gtfoh dont rly meeeeeeeeeeee

Veronica:

lol ok

Scotty:

afo is the new ttly yfm?

Veronica:

I do fy

Scotty:

YES.  U c

Veronica:

I do

Scotty:

kindred....

Veronica:

yup

(Also, today Scotty and I bonded after disclosing our mutual love for power washing.  We find therapy in such tasks.  Anyone else? Or is it just us?  Either way, it goes to show... kindred.)

Don't get me wrong - I like being busy at work.  Not that I am the type of person who always needs to be doing something, (in fact, I am an award winning napper,) but when I am doing something I like, it's hard for me to pull away.  

We had a fire alarm go off recently.  I went in to my boss's (the head of the department) office to tell him that he had to end his meeting, and that I'd send out a note to all the meeting participants that we'd reschedule.  

After a good 3-4 minutes, he came to my desk and said, "Veronica, I really think that I'll get in trouble if you are still working even though the building is on fire.  Can you stop working for a few minutes, please?"  

And, like any close-quarters environment, one always has to deal with the sounds and smells of those around them.  I have talked to you before (click here for reference) about how chewing and pen clicking make me want to go postal, but strong perfumes and colognes make it hard to breathe around here, and it bothers me almost as chewing and clicking.  If you know me, you might find it ironic that I have such an aversion to strong perfumes, since one of my four vices is soaps.  But it's different when you can't escape someone's perfume/cologne. 

We hired someone in the middle of the year who sat next to me until recently, and her perfume was so overwhelming that I had to have a fan next to my face every day to try to help me breathe.  Fortunately, she recently moved to the other side of the building, and very honestly, it's made a drastic positive difference in my workplace environment. 

I'm not the only one who is sensitive to smells.  My office neighbor Nelly just started in August, and she told me right away that she, too, has a sensitive sense of smell.  So when one morning when she was still new-ish, she (in a very creepy voice) said, "Good morning, Veronica... I knew you were here... because I can smellll youuuu..." I was mortified, because as someone who can't handle strong perfumes, I don't want to be a culprit, especially considering that I don't wear perfume.  Turns out that she can smell my laundry detergent, and after learning that, I am not surprised; I was known for it at my last job.  Everyone used to say that I smelled like a dryer sheet (in a good way.)  

But it doesn't stop being weird.

Miglin, Veronica:

Nelly just says to me "good morning....

......

.......

.....

I can smell you."

I said "It never stops being weird, Nelly!!"

Gym Rat:

it's now official

This conversation is repeated often.  "It never stops being weird, Nelly!"

Elaine Crossfit and The Office Version of Seinfeld

Like I have mentioned to you before, I am too busy for anything at work, and this spills into other things, like checking personal e-mail.  I apologize.  I really do.  Just in general.  While I am not rude about it, it is well known at work that I am too busy to sit around and chat.  I have mastered the art of excusing myself from small talk.

My friend/colleague Elaine (a.k.a. and here-forth known as Crossfit) has, from when she first came to my company, always been able to deal with me like a pro.

Her name is Elaine Crossfit because she essentially is Elaine from Seinfeld if crossfit were around back then.  The parallels to us and Seinfeld are so on point, and we even have names picked out for our colleagues.  Some are from the show (Newman, Bania,) and some are newly formed.  It's really fun. 

She is the very essence of Elaine, and I am the very essence of Jerry (I go by Jeri).

Honestly might as well be Elaine Crossfit - 

they even look alike

For some reason which I don’t care to speculate upon, folks over in her area seem to have quite a bit more free time than I do.  Let’s just say that there’s a lot of internet shopping going on over there.  They also have time to make decorations for birthday celebrations, and other sorts of… we’ll call it “morale building time.” 

Elaine casually came to my desk when she first started here a few months ago and said, “Hey, I’m creating some fun signs for Laura’s birthday party today.  Can you think of anything neat about her that we can use?”  And my response was, “Oh, so you have time to do my expenses for me?”  And without skipping a beat she said, “No.  So I was thinking that we could put her head on a Raven’s cheerleader, and have her sign autographs.”  So I said, "Oh, so you have time to do my expenses?" And she immediately said, "No.  So maybe some fun Raven's trivia!" She threw my BS right back at me.  It was great.

This is basically a daily occurrence for us.  Recently, I was really focused on working on my presentation, and she comes up and starts talking about her upcoming move, and how she needs to pack.  The conversation got pretty thick, so I abruptly said, “Yeah I’m busy… so…”  which just fuels her fire, and then she starts describing each napkin and fork she will be packing in a box.  The more I tell her to leave, the more in detail she gets about whatever time-consuming thing she is rambling on about.  It’s fantastic and very entertaining. 

I have many, many great relationships at work, and many of them serve me differently and I them.  One of the greatest perks of being friends with Elaine is that she and I are yin and yang when it comes to food preferences.  As I think I've told you, this is my idea of a delicious lunch:

This is her reaction every time I offer her a plate of delicious vegetables with hummus:  

She has a major aversion to vegetables, and I have an aversion to complex carbs, so it really works out for us at the dinner table.  We swap half our meals.

Of course, life being so unfair, she is a tiny little crossfit thing, but can eat like it's her professional career.

Our dinner/drinks before the Ed Sheeran concert. 

To be fair, we both freaked out about how delicious the lobster roll was

Pounding down some donuts whilst showing her guns

"Oh, Mission BBQ, you say? Okay, hold on, 

let me get into battle position."

Meanwhile I eat "ruffage" as she calls it and well, I ain't no little thing.

It's alright though.  It is well with my soul; more hummus and veggies for me.

I hope that your job is just as fun as mine. If it's not, talk to me, and maybe you can work here.  We are always casting for new characters!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Tis The Season

Hello!

I have been gone.

My apologies.  Don't be mad, bro.

I have been holiday-ing and adult-ing and sleeping.

I went to a friend's holiday party this past weekend and it felt very grown up.  Mostly because her house is huge and beautiful and she's younger than me.  She had fancy things:

I sat at a beautiful rustic table and "talked shop" with a colleague, and we were using language that confused her husband, and after a few moments, I realized we were being very grown up.

I observe what it's like to be an adult quite often.  I was just talking to Karen the other day about being an adult.  We were at my boyfriend's house, (George Washington,) Mt. Vernon for the annual Illuminations event, and this little girl was doing cartwheels instead of walking.  I mentioned that I used to do that.  Karen said, "Remember when you were a little kid, how all the adults used to tell you to enjoy being a kid, but you just wanted to grow up and be an adult?  I miss that."  I disagreed -  Maybe I am over-trusting, but whenever an adult said that to me as a kid, no matter how I actually responded, in my head I always thought, "Okay, I will enjoy being a kid, thanks for the advice."

Had lots of fun at Mt. Vernon and very pleasant weather again.

Meanwhile, did I show you a photo of my neighbor's house last year?  Even if I did, they add something new each year, so feast your eyes upon this year's decor.

I've had the goal this holiday season of watching as many Hallmark Channel Christmas movies as absolutely possible.  I've thrown in some ABC Family Christmas movies here and there, but mainly I've been sticking to Hallmark.  

I do hope that you've given yourself a fair chance to get into the Christmas spirit, with enjoying colors and lights and shiny things and furry things and people being extra-ordinarily nice, despite it still being a rather warm winter.

I feel obliged to take a moment with you and hold your hand and make eye contact and get real. You know how I get.  

As you may or may not know (or care,) while I am not the most devoutly religious person by any means, and I swear like a pirate, and I wasn't raised in a church, I am a Christian.  I am about as non-denominational as they come, but I can see truth in almost every religious practice out there - whether it's Catholicism, Baptist, or even if you worship crystals and hug trees, I can respect it.  

I've taken part in churches where they speak tongues and been a part of Native American drum circles.  I can appreciate so many different kinds of religious practices, and in fact, I relate more to folks who lay on the ground and worship the God of the Forest, and then bow before the ocean and worship the God of the Seas more or the same as people who diligently report to their pews every Sunday morning. 

I have my own ways of nourishing and protecting my spirit, which include attending (non-denominational) church, standing in a silent forest, listening to Yanni, and surrounding myself with the talisman of the Evil Eye: 

Click here to find out more

Those who know me know that I have this with me basically always.  I even have a room in my house painted these colors.  It's everywhere around me.

All that to give weight to my telling you that I was really moved recently by some experiences, and I feel obliged to encourage you to partake in the same experience.  

The Hallmark Channel, along with other Christmas favorites such as "Love, Actually," likes to keep reminding me that Christmas is a time for telling the truth, so here I go. 

I've had an interesting history with this church called Lighthouse.  I've been off-and-on with them for the past ten years or so.  I could talk more about this, but maybe another time. 

Recently I've been going more regularly due to having more free time (I can't justify sitting around watching The Hallmark Channel without also going to church.)  I am here to tell you that I was absolutely moved by a couple recent episodes they are doing surrounding the Christmas story.  

I love history.  I like sitting back and listening to a good, true story.  I have never heard anyone describe the ACTUAL history WITH CONTEXT of what was actually happening, and what each movement meant.  I am in LOVE with this story.

So either listen below, or please download the Lighthouse Church app on your phone, set up your phone before you slide your car into Drive, press play, and then just listen to the story while you are driving home today, and then on your way to work tomorrow.  You will not regret it, whether you care about Jesus or not.  I am in love with the way this church is giving historical context to the stories that you and I are hearing songs about right now.  If you are a believer, listen to all three, in order.  If you are just here to hear what I'm talking about, watch in this order:

Number Two:

Number Three:



And here is the First, in case you are interested:



Trust me.  You will like it.

Okay, please do listen to those, even if you are just at work with nothing better to do.

Have a merry Christmas, my friends.  

Thank You

Chipotle has these obscure "Two Minute Read" cups. I really liked the one I received whilst at lunch one day with Crossfit, and thought that it would be a good exercise to complete. The author wrote in his notes that:

 "It occurred to me that there are all sorts of people who’ve done wonderful things for me, big and small, and I never got a chance to thank them.  So I thought I’d take the opportunity to do so." 

So here it goes... my thanks for wonderful things, big and small, whether their effects were immediate or lifelong.

Ryan said, "Don't undervalue what you've done." He told me to not self-depreciate, and to own accomplishments; that even if you are the only one standing at the plate, at least you showed up to the ball game.  Since my infancy, my mother told me to walk in the crosswalks, because you get more money in the lawsuit if a car hits you... which sounds ridiculous to you but not to me. On long road trips, we would sing “A-you’re a-dorable” song, and the song “Low Bridge” which have proven to be most useful throughout my years.

Julie was my first best friend and taught me the rules of sharing and being nice to your friends, because they are your friends.

Taylor Ranch instilled in me how to garden and grow, inch by inch, row by row. Joan said, "Measure twice, cut once."  In a bedroom closet where spare chairs were kept, Alex used to pilot the space ship into outer space, and even though even in the moment I knew it was silly and pretend, I swear to god I could see it.

Lorraine let me crawl into her bed with her and do Sudoku puzzles and not talk about it if I didn't want to, any day of the week.  Justin chased down my car before I left the driveway. JP left flowers at my door to greet me when I got home from a long trip.  Brian said, "Bring me the bill, I'll pay for it."

Mark taught me to wait until the other person is finished speaking. Wait until everyone else stands up and leaves. Wait until all the pieces fall together. A kindred soul gave me Southwest points and made dreams come true.  Kate made lots of itineraries.  Jesse said he would drive us up the mountain.  Janet went into my house when I wasn't home and put food and flowers in my kitchen.  Regina forged me into a creature who could love a friend through constant inflicted hurt, teaching me how to instantly forgive.

Andi wrote, "He knows what we all know," and I felt her smile from across the country, and it filled me with a warmth I still embrace in cold times.

Sara with No H fit like she belonged.  Daniela said, "No, you need to leave work and be in a machine right now!" Jen blasted Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" in her 1987 Plymouth Caravelle in the high school parking lot. Sue said that she was very funny.  Larry said very little, but smiled a lot. Peter said that caring sounds like some sort of expenditure of emotional capital, and that juice had better be worth the squeeze.

Katherine is one of the most beautiful, smart, successful people I (and most people) have ever known, and before we left, she told me that she wanted to be more like me. Steve is a giant with a tender heart who prays.  Jeremy shakes my hand. Trinity sent me a box of groceries.  After a heavy sigh, Christian said, "Salvage what you can."  Michelle said,"Just remember, credit awarded!" Rachel spent many nights around cold wet ditches to save the kittens.  Scotty gave me the gift of his story.  

My dad would dance around the kitchen. He would also say words that were very intense and raw, and if they were directed at you, you would endure the uncomfortable and extended moments it took, because you knew it was necessary because they were gems straight from his heart.  I realize apologetically but not regretfully that I have inherited that exact trait.  Liz persistently reminds me to keep blogging.  After hundreds of sunsets spent elsewhere, La Push taught me the real magic of the horizon at sunset. Great-Aunt Anna took my hand and said, "I love you too, dear."  Melissa sent me a box. Nick helped me move several times, asking nothing in return. 

Elaine taught me about couch day. Karen brought me with her, and I brought her with me.   Lots of boys drove me around in their cars.  Jennifer went and got me a sponge and bucket when the twin towers were going down.  Jason said, "What was the last thing she said to you?" To which I replied, "She said, 'I'll talk to you later.'"  And he replied, "So then she'll talk to you later."  In frustration and sadness, I said, "How can they be so cruel? I just don't understand!" to which Mario replied, "And you never will."  

End of Summer - Ed, Camping, Birthday

The end of the summer was a whirlwind.  Of course, for most of us, life is a whirlwind, but it usually consists of days upon days packed with minutiae and before you know it, it's practically November and you have no idea where the year has gone.  Fortunately, my end of summer was the kind of whirlwind full of lots of good times with people, times which I can point to for many seasons to come and remember fondly.   (And also minutiae.)

Ed

I wrapped up the summer concert series with an Ed Sheeran concert in D.C., accompanied by Elaine Crossfit.  Ed was fantastic.  

Opening act was Christina Perri, who has huge musical guns.  Her enviable vocal talents are some of the strongest I have ever seen.  

Our seats were not so bad...

But even still, in typical Veronica fashion, I talked to some people and so we were upgraded to like the fourth row from the stage.

We got out of there and decided to hang back from the crowds for a bit, and it was a good thing we did, because the Metro line broke, and we would have had to walk through the tunnels to get out of there.  We didn't even know about it till we were already on a train, about 30 minutes later, when one of the Metro workers happened to tell us that we were on "the test train" but that we were probably safe at that point.  

Camping

Kake got married at the end of September, and she looked beautiful.

Before that, we went to Shenendoah to fit in some camping before married life began.  It was actually awesome weather - the warmest I have ever experienced in Shenendoah.  

We didn't even need a fire for survival purposes - just for recreation.  That's not to say that we didn't need our survival instincts. 

We spent the day at the apple butter festival, which was lovely. 

Then we set up camp, and then drove around until we found a good perch for sunset, and (later) for sunrise.

We did find a good perch for the sunset... and an even better one was off the side of the road and down a cliff.  Realizing that there was no safe way to walk down the hill, I found one way particularly effective.

Thus, the invention of Mountain Slide.

After sunset, we made our way back to our campsite.  

Within moments of arriving and starting to set up our fire, the campsite next to us caught on fire.  I mean.... caught... on.... fire. 

There's a phrase folks use often: "Adding fuel to the fire..."

PEOPLE.  THIS IS A VERY DECEPTIVE PHRASE.  Please, under The Laws of Science and Physics, do not, under any circumstance, ever ADD FUEL TO A FIRE.

The kids at the campsite next to us decided that it would be a good idea to enhance their campfire using fuel.  This, of course, resulted in literally everything catching on fire.  The fuel can immediately caught fire, and then the kid holding it started flinging fuel everywhere, which caught evverything on fire.  Within seconds, it was so lit up that it seemed like daylight.  

Fortunately, folks from all around came running out from the woods to assist.  Of course, pouring water on fuel only made it worse, so all anyone could do was stand around and watch and wait.  God bless the guy behind us, who had a gigantic cooler of water, and soaked the ground all around the flames so that the fire didn't spread any further.  For a good 20 minutes, all we could do was wait for queue of fleeing whilst their campsite burned.  

Accurate representation of the camping fire scene.

Other than the few moments of absolute terror, the trip was rather lovely.  We spent the next day touring several vineyards and vast spaces.

A bear!

Cows!

Sheep!

Birthday

I had a rather quiet birthday, with a few small but wonderful surprises and gifts.  Some colleagues were really sweet, and Kake sent me a fruit thing!!

Also popped up to NYC for a weekend to celebrate my great-aunt's 80th birthday.  Before we did that, we did some tourist-y stuff and saw a show. 

 I want to take another trip up soon, because I always feel rushed when I am there.  Being given 45 minutes in Macy's is nothing... it takes 45 minutes just to make it to the department I want.

It was noted that it's somewhat of a talent that I can go up 9 flights of elevators without touching the handrails.  

One of the best parts of Macy's is the old wooden escalators.

Also around my birthday, Sara and I got VIP tickets to the Maryland Million race.  It was my first time at the horse races... and I had so much fun!  I really loved it.

VIP tickets allowed us all-you-can-eat and open bar.  Yeah, I'm spoiled, I know.  But let me just set the record straight on one thing:  I am all set on the oyster consumption front.  I do not need to eat oysters ever again. 

PSA: Do not ever serve me an oyster.  Thank you.

Prepare your house and your life - I think we are in for a brutal winter.