Very often I find myself deliriously happy about life. I'll just be driving down the road with a huge
stupid smile on my face. Granted, there
are other times when the world and/or humans remind me how aged I am becoming. It’s a tough balance to remain so happy while
being reminded that our days are numbered. I try to stay out of photos more often these days - the wrinkles are growing.
Pros and Cons of becoming Elderly
Cons:
- Asked the kid behind the counter at my local
coffee shop if he had a water spigot near him, if he would mind refilling my
water bottle. Kid had no idea what a
“spigot” was, had never heard the term.
He said, “is that like, a water spout?”
- Considering the aforementioned 23-year old
behind the counter a “kid.”
- Referenced Willy Wonka (the original film) the
other day to the intern here at work. He
did not get the reference. Even after
explaining the reference.
- Recurring moments in solitude wondering what you
are actually doing with your life.
Career, kids, marriage… I mean, you still have time for that. TONS of time.
Right? Wait… Do I?
- Pervertedness does not dwindle. Recently, a guy I was just introduced to sent
me a text of his penis. (Seriously???)
So I sent back, “So, first and foremost, you are married…” and he said, “Yeah,
I thought you would be cool with that.”
Ummm… Is this real life?
- You can’t get away with doing nothing all day
anymore. Sleeping all day on Caturday is
not cute.
Pros:
- Mastering the alcohol vs. workday battle. Beer at lunch? Maybe! Walked by a colleagues desk the other
day, he was streaming the World Cup.
Told him he should go to a bar, he lifted his cup and said, “Rum &
Coke Zero.” Amen, brother. Amen.
- I was at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant
when I was at the NFAA Mid-Atlantic competition a few weeks ago, and ordered
their house wine. By the end of the
glass, I was 100% convinced that it could not be anything other than a Pacific
North West wine. “There is NO WAY that
this is not a Washington State wine,” I said.
After asking the hostess to show me the bottle, there it was – Columbia Crest I realized then that I had reached That
Age.
- Your friends are starting to make a name for
themselves, and be awesome humans. You
find yourself being actually very proud of them.
- When your friends become celebrities, they still
admit to knowing you. But it might take
a while for that to even occur to you.
For example, my friend Mike is an archery legend. Granted, he was an archery legend long before I ever even knew him, but
I never knew him as Mike The Archery Legend until Mids. I ran up to him and gave him a hug when I saw
him on the course, and, when I returned to the group I was shooting with (a
group of assorted folks from around the mid-Atlantic area) I was wondering why
no one even so much as said hi to him.
“Do you know Mike?” I asked. Everyone gave me a look and said, “Um, yeah,
we know Mike.” That’s when I suspected
something was up. My friend is a celebrity.
- You have mastered the art of peeling an egg
- You do not have to eat your brussel
sprouts. No one is going to make you.
- You can learn any weird thing or pick up any hobby that you want because you are an adult and have income and there is such thing as Amazon.
Observations:
- All of the men at my work are so stressed at all
times that no one has fingernails – they all bite them till their fingers are
stubs.
- I often type my name wrong, because my right
hand is a letter off, so it becomes Veribuca, which is actually a really cool
name.
Other:
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