Hello. This is my newsletter.: All of the things, all of the stuff

Things

I have a theory that any typical woman has on her person at any given time between 8-12 types of lip stick/gloss/liner.

The real truth that will come out is how many lipthings a woman has in total, including the collection she keeps at home - the collection that rarely comes out. I would call it "the lipstick graveyard," but I know just as well as all women do that wouldn't be an accurate statement. There's a time and a place for all lipsticks/glosses/liners which are not in a trash can.

Go ahead and have a woman walk through her "lipstick graveyard." You'll find the funniest stories on why a woman will not throw out old lipsticks.

"This one is about 8 years old, but they don't sell it anymore and I love it."

"This one totally dries out my lips and flakes, but if you combine it with a few different kinds of gloss, the color is really beautiful."

"This one is way too dark; I didn't realize how dark it was when I bought it, but it cost $9, so I'm going to keep it, because one day I might wear it, like as part of a Halloween costume or something."

"This one I never wear except for very special occasions, because it cost $45."

"This one has a really gross texture to it, but it smells soooo good."

Trust me. It's true.

They are all about to act like it's not true, but it's true.

You know it, I know it, and the American people know it.

Go ahead, next time you are out at a casual meal, ask the women with purses on them how many lipthings they have on them. Go ahead.

Are you ready to see my collection?

You have no idea how long it's going to take me to scatter all of this around my house again back to where I found it all.

Yup. That's it. I'd say the left 1/3 of the circle is on me at all times in my purse, and the rest is in the home-based graveyard.

Update: I just found 6 more in my make-up case.

ADDING YOURS!
Here are the self-confessed submissions I've received... send me your lipstuff collection, and I'll post it!

Rachel

Thanks for your honesty, Rachel.

Melissa

Thanks for your honesty, Melissa,

and for the truth about your eye shadow collection.

I also have a collection of sunglasses. Someone else might have just said, "Veronica has entirely too many sunglasses," but again, there is a time and a place for all sunglasses.

I didn't even go out and search my car, but let's assume we'd add about 5 more.

I don't know how this happened. My educated guess would be that after years of being used to losing every pair of sunglasses, I just kept buying them, and somewhere along the line got better at not losing them.

The best pair of sunglasses I've ever owned are the ones in that front row in the middle. They are... believe it or not... the sunglasses I bought at the Taylor Swift concert, and they are polerized. I can see things invisible to the naked eye in them - they have been amazing for archery and for all of my water things I've done this year, LIKE TUBING!

Side note - I want to go tubing all of the time. I went again recently, this time down the Antietam Creek with my mother and stepfather for her birthday, and it was a blast.

The only slight problem is that I am a delicate flower and get injured very easily, and I flipped my tube a lot this time, resulting in pretty bad bruises.

I took this photo literally 2 weeks

after tubing, and it was still this bad.

But I digress...

The good news is that I am the easiest person in the world to buy presents for. Just get me lipthings, sunglasses, tea, or and soap.

I'm not getting up to take a picture of my soap collection, but those who know... know.

When Melissa was living here, she came into my bedroom one night, and sat down on my bed, with a straight and totally serious face said, "Hey. So, if you die suddenly... :: pregnant pause :: what would you like me to do with your soap collection?" I still laugh about it at least once a week. She totally called me out, and caught me off-guard, but she definitely got me nailed down.

One other area where I am well-stocked is my collection of tools, and house-y things.

What single young female has this many tools and things?

This is ONE of my tool drawers.

I have so many tools and house-y things that I have to store things all around the house. Don't be surprised if you are spending the night and there's a sledgehammer, crowbar, and hammers under the guest bed. Be careful opening the linen closet, because spare curtain rods and (mounds! of) electric cords will probably fall on you. I NEED IT ALL.

Stuff

I've said before how people must think I have all of the money, with how much traveling I do, and, now that you know, how many things I have. The truth is that I just acquire things... it's amazing, really. People gift me things, or people move and let me have their things, or people just hate their stuff and know that I will take your things 90% of the time.

Before you even finish your sentence, "Hey, Veronica? I am redoing my kitchen, and I have some things I'm going to get rid of, do you..." I'll be ready with, "YES I DO what time should I be over to pick up everything? What else are you changing? Do you have like, a nightstand? Lamps you don't want?"

I just heard a bunch of readers "amen"ing, because if you are reading this, I probably have things that were once yours.

I admit to being out of touch with what my friends would consider normal shopping, primarily because I am pretentious and snobby and won't go to Wal-mart. I recently tried to go to Aldi for the first time, because my friends (with families) swear by it. But once I was there, I got snobby, and the conversation would go:

Friend: "Look, these strawberries are so cheap - this is like a whole dollar less than the grocery store!"
Me: "Yeah... are they organic?"
Friend: "Umno."
Me: "Well... are they even remotely local? Where is this food coming from?"
Friend: "Um... I don't know, the [expletive] strawberry farm??!"
Me:

There's definitely a disconnect.

But I know when to call BS... and I'm calling it.

I did go to WalMart the other day because it was on my way home and Target would have been an additional 10 minutes in the car.

Here is the reason America is so obese: